Remote employee can’t stop his family from interrupting him during work hours: ‘I have tried the obvious stuff: closed door, calendar blocks, Slack status, headset, and a sign. It helps for a day or two, and then everything drifts back to how it was’

People still think that working from home means you are not working

I know we sometimes work in our pajamas; I know it seems like we’re chilling on the computer, but we are most definitely working. “Just on the computer” transforms cognitively demanding labor into something resembling leisure. It’s not.

We have the privilege of not having to travel at 6 am to go somewhere to do the same thing we can do from home, but let’s not add difficulties to that as well.

In this story, there is an interesting contradiction between ‘I want boundaries’ and ‘I don’t want to be rude’. That contradiction is very common. Most of us learned that boundaries are problematic or can make people feel bad. We have to unlearn that. Boundaries are the only way we can have healthier relationships.

To have healthy relationships, we have to be clear about what we need. If we have to have uncomfortable conversations to get there, so be it.

A boundary inevitably creates a small amount of inconvenience for the other person, but that doesn’t make you unreasonable. There isn’t a magic solution that makes boundaries painless for everyone. Indeed, you can’t make an omelette without breaking a few eggs, apparently.

I think this story is more about this person coming to terms with the fact that being available all the time is unhealthy. It’s ok to need time for yourself and to separate work from home as much as humanly possible.

Working from home has created new forms of intimacy, and therefore we have to find new ways to establish rules and boundaries around it. It’s hard work, but we have to have the conversation.

I’m sure that when the boundaries are clear, everybody will understand them, but clearly that’s not easy for this person. Great opportunity to learn something new!

What would you do in this situation?