By the Author / Source: abuaram.site
In many of my acute psychotic episodes—brief periods off medication accompanied by severe withdrawal symptoms and days of chronic insomnia—my mind was in a state of relentless internal dialogue. My thoughts churned unceasingly; I was utterly powerless to quiet the voices and mental noise within. Emotionally volatile, I would find myself laughing and crying almost simultaneously, while a strange, altered sensation—far removed from the stability of my treated state—heavy in my head.
I frequently encountered bizarre, unexplainable phenomena, as if the surrounding world were being directly provoked by the turmoil inside my mind. During my periods of wellness, months and years pass with everything remaining largely normal. Yet, during an episode, I felt as though the mental activity of human beings, ambient sounds, and even the behavior and gatherings of animals were somehow intertwined with my disturbed psychological state.
I could barely grasp the passage of time; hours dissolved into moments. I would step out early in the morning to wander through streets and alleys, entirely absorbed in my own world, only to suddenly realize the sun was setting without me having noticed. Everything moved at a breakneck speed. At times, public transit services would cease for the night before I even registered the hours passing, leaving me stranded and needing to find a private way home.
I used to hear human spirits speaking to me from everywhere: inside vehicles, along the streets, down from the sky, and through distant echoes. Every sound felt directed solely at me. The rhythmic roar of traffic on the highway, while I felt mentally intoxicated, stole me away, drawing me deeper into a world far removed from reality.
Throughout my life, no two moments of drowning in this illness were ever identical. Each episode carried a distinct impression, bringing its own unique set of symptoms, states of mind, and emotional landscapes. It has been a long, enduring battle with this illness—one that began in my adolescence and has spanned nearly twenty years now.
Beyond that, I experienced numerous paranormal occurrences involving many people. I encountered individuals who seemed intimately familiar, yet whom I had never met during my stable periods—it was as though I had already met them previously through my mind. Furthermore, if I imagined a specific color—like red or black—the streets would suddenly become congested with vehicles of that exact hue. At times, I would hear the auditory patterns of traffic inside my head seconds before they actually occurred in reality. Similarly, I could sense people’s thoughts surfacing in my mind moments before they uttered them aloud.
The last time I stopped my medication, a few months ago, I completely lost control over my mind. It became intensely unwell. I felt as though I had detached from my body, standing outside it, watching myself on the verge of losing consciousness. A weightless sensation took over my gait; I could no longer feel the physical gravity of my body. Human conversations around me sped up beyond comprehension. The voices of people sitting right beside me sounded like audio effects processing through software—shifting through distant pan settings, unnatural reverberations, and isolated studio echoes. I simply could not endure my mind that last time. Thankfully, the gap in my medication did not last long, for the situation was becoming truly catastrophic.
There were events tied to specific individuals that might seem trivial or even absurd to detail, yet in their core, they felt unmistakably supernatural. They bore distinct threads pointing to hidden mysteries and unseen realities in this world. Some of these events were linked directly to me, while others had no apparent connection to my persona, yet I interacted with them on a deeply personal level. Other occurrences involved shared, covert experiences with specific individuals—people who were by no means ordinary, but held a secret connection to what was unfolding within me and inside my mind.
In this regard, there are deep secrets and shrouded phenomena at play in our human world. Certain aspects of what I refer to are closely guarded secrets among select groups, sizable institutions, and perhaps even covert intelligence agencies within global governments. There are those in this world who are fully aware of these realities, including private scientific bodies conducting entirely unpublicized research and developing frameworks for such phenomena. While humanity searches for extraterrestrial life light-years away, spiritual entities reside among us in concealment—perhaps present on our planet since the dawn of human history, or even before it.
In the end, this realm I speak of is not a product of recent years or a sudden revelation. It has existed within me since childhood. I first encountered this world when I was barely twelve years old—nearly twenty-one years ago—during an initial encounter involving a group of Israelis and Palestinians. We engaged in collective spiritual invocation sessions, where all of us clearly witnessed spectral entities, pointed at them, and spoke of their presence. That experience continues to haunt me to this day. I believe many people in our world are quietly aware of these matters, even as society today speaks of various issues while acting entirely ignorant of this hidden dimension—denying it completely or remaining blind to its existence.
