By the Author / Source: abuaram.site
It has been six days since I stopped taking my psychiatric medications. Some days, I quit them completely; on other days, I am forced to take the lowest possible dose of an antipsychotic just to sleep; and on other nights, I sleep without it because of alcohol. I have noticed that the spirits have become more active in talking to me than before. I know they are real spirits, but they grow more active when I stop taking the medication. This does not mean they are schizophrenic voices—not at all—but they are active for a reason. Perhaps they feed on my mind, because my brainwaves now are different from when I was under the influence of the medication.
All the bothersome side effects of these psychiatric drugs have disappeared, and my natural emotions are starting to return. Nothing bothers me anymore, except that I suffer from a hangover the following morning—something that never happened with these drugs. Back then, I would wake up as if I hadn’t been drunk the night before. It seems the medications eliminate post-alcohol symptoms; years would pass without me feeling any headache at all. I believe these drugs have protective effects against certain physical ailments.
The only reason I continue taking the medication is sleep. Sometimes my brain simply refuses to sleep. On certain nights, my mind is so active that a barrier seems to separate it from sleep. It isn’t just ordinary anxiety; my brain genuinely rejects sleep, and this can be very hard on me—staying up all night, waking up the next day without sleep, and then facing daily life and its pressures. That is why I am still forced to use the lowest possible dose of the antipsychotic to catch some sleep, falling asleep quickly after taking it.
However, I am confident that if I succeed in freeing myself from the drug over time, my brain will recover and heal on its own, and I will go back to sleeping like any normal person. I do not believe my lack of sleep stems from an underlying condition outside the scope of the medication. I know my brain chemistry is programmed for sleep, and that there is a psychological framework—habituation—that causes anxiety and sleeplessness.
There are changes in the nature of my psychological and mental state as well. My way of thinking and speaking has changed. Sometimes I love talking a lot. I also feel a physical energy that I previously lacked, and I believe this energy will increase over time. The way I walk and move through streets and markets feels different. I enjoy a bottle of wine outdoors in a whole new way; I have reclaimed the spirit of my youth, as if the drugs had turned me into an old man. Even my fear has diminished significantly. I possess great audacity and speak to others with confidence.
This medication robs you of all this. These drugs were created in gruesome experiments, designed to control people—criminals, thieves, and violent individuals. They were made to suppress hormones of courage and boldness, and to strip teenagers of their spirit. These drugs make it easy to control and manipulate you, turning you into a sedated coward. Unfortunately, they were not created merely to relieve your psychological pain! They make it easier for the state and others to control you, stripping away the spirit granted to you by a wise entity. So do not take them; step forward and abandon them.
The point is, everything is fine. I am enjoying every day without medication, and I believe I will enjoy it even more as time passes. As for those fools in the groups who warn you against abandoning them, they are the children of psychiatrists—and psychiatrists are bad people—or they might be university and postgraduate students who do not understand what you feel or the actual reality of what is happening. They study rules, but they do not study anything outside those rules or what is truly taking place.
