By the Author / Source: abuaram.site
Despite adherence to my medication regimen for two and a half months—during which I fully recovered from most schizophrenia symptoms, particularly those harsh and unbearable voices echoing inside my head and around me, allowing me to lie on my pillow feeling complete serenity and enjoying restful sleep—things have changed.
Over the past three days, while alone at home, and after crying in the city of Bethlehem overlooking the mountains of Jerusalem, a spirit possessed me from there and followed me home. I began behaving in a manner resembling demonic possession, talking to myself, and experiencing severe manic episodes combining elements of bipolar disorder mixed with schizophrenia symptoms.
I began feeling disturbed and acting inappropriately. Yesterday, I started shouting and speaking through every window of my house in succession. Whenever I fight with my wife and kick her out, I feel as though I am suffering from something akin to schizophrenia. My wife’s spirit sends negative energy toward me, circulating throughout the house.
There is a magical connection between my wife and me. Normally, I consume alcohol in moderation and do not misbehave, except on rare occasions. When I suffer from schizophrenia without taking medication, I find it difficult to remain alone for extended periods, and I feel a intense sexual energy toward her. I attempt to release this energy by watching pornography. However, whenever I ejaculate while watching a film, I feel displeased with myself and find no psychological relief afterward.
I do not comprehend the true nature of this spirit; it manifests in three elements: light, sound, and touch. Is it a single entity in how it communicates with me? I cannot discern its source, whether it originates from a single origin or the realm of spirits. This is not schizophrenia; rather, it is behavior mimicking schizophrenia. Furthermore, I do not understand the secret of the magic that binds me to my wife; I love her naked body, her buttocks, kissing her breasts, and the rest of her body.
I suspect that the presence of God, or the Father in Heaven, resides within my body as a trinity, with Jesus Christ and the Virgin Mary accompanying me in constant presence. Something surrounds me—it is far from subtle; it is evident and profound, and there are people who know this. The aircraft in the sky are following me, most likely Israeli planes based on my airspace.
I perceive supernatural abilities in my mind regarding time and the future. I feel that birds are in harmony with me, singing for me, while dogs bark whenever they see me, looking at me with eyes full of affection and love. The dove is my supportive friend, whereas I do not particularly like smaller birds, as they irritate me.
After two and a half months of medication compliance and feeling comfortable and stable, I expected that schizophrenia and bipolar mania symptoms would not recur. Yet, they returned and surfaced over the past three days. I called emergency numbers nearly thirty times yesterday, swearing at and speaking to police and emergency dispatchers, but they hung up on me and stopped responding.
The police and intelligence services know my identity and location, and they are aware of my disturbed mental state; otherwise, I might have faced legal accountability. I usually contact them at long intervals; the last time I entered this state was two years ago, when I reached out to them then. I feel a desire to speak to them, yet simultaneously, I am overcome by resentment and fear of calling them.
The aircraft are covert, and there is no tangible human element—from the police or intelligence—directly linked to me. The aircraft speak to me, monitor my laptop screen, and listen to my phone conversations; even without an internet connection, they connect to me through the service provider itself and wiretap my conversations with anyone.
My sexual desire increases whenever my wife is away from me. I wish for her to be naked in front of me, or for another completely naked woman to be present. I feel crazy and disturbed, as if she is sending me negative energy. I do not know the cause of this feeling; perhaps it is due to some form of magic, or perhaps our marital relationship, love, and intimacy have forged a sacred bond between us. I do not want her to return to me at the present moment; I am upset with her and prefer to remain alone.
Ultimately, I must be cautious regarding my dangerous actions, as I might be harmed by neighbors or those around me, or even by the police and intelligence services, who might harm me due to my calls and harassment. They might frame me and throw me into prison or a psychiatric facility, which would be an extremely harsh and dreadful experience for me—one I could not bear.
The police are liars; years ago, they orchestrated a fabricated charge against me regarding my alcohol consumption and behaving inappropriately in the streets. They falsely accused me of exposing my genitalia in front of girls—an event that never occurred, as I saw no girls nor spoke to any. As a result, I was placed in a psychiatric facility for a month. Therefore, if they attempt to harm me again, do not believe their allegations.
