Category: Posts

By the Author / Source: abuaram.site I suffer from a relentless sense of guilt whenever I try to distinguish right from wrong. A voice inside tells me that my recent actions have been misguided, and I feel a profound lack

By the Author / Source: abuaram.site I have always harbored a deep dread of entering the psychiatric hospital. I was never admitted in a normal state; every time I was led there, I was in the grip of a severe

By the Author / Source: abuaram.site I believe psychiatric medications are still essential for me; without them, my condition would be catastrophic. In fact, I wouldn’t be able to think clearly, I’d have no sex drive, I wouldn’t be able

By the Author / Source: abuaram.site I feel as though I have been watched since childhood up until this very day, with someone gathering information on every single aspect of my life. This surveillance is not the product of schizophrenic

By the Author / Source: abuaram.site I have fathered three children, and I believe this number is completely sufficient. Yet, I sometimes feel a deep-seated desire to have more—occasionally even entertaining the fantasy of having a larger family with multiple

By the Author / Source: abuaram.site Since my teenage years, I had been an atheist—and in truth, I was an atheist from childhood. I frequently mocked the teachings of Islam, finding them impossible to accept. I questioned the existence of

By the Author / Source: abuaram.site In many of my acute psychotic episodes—brief periods off medication accompanied by severe withdrawal symptoms and days of chronic insomnia—my mind was in a state of relentless internal dialogue. My thoughts churned unceasingly; I

By the Author / Source: abuaram.site Those spirits stray far from me with the very first sip of alcohol, and they do not draw near to me throughout the hours of my drunkenness until the following morning. These spirits adhere

By the Author / Source: abuaram.site I believe I almost died as a teenager at the hands of a spirit. It triggered sleep paralysis in me, and a wave of wind rushed continuously into my mouth. I felt suffocated, as

By the Author / Source: abuaram.site I was in deep pain, my friends, inside the psychiatric facility in Bethlehem, where I stayed for nearly a month and forty days. Everything there was terrible, and the conditions were deplorable. I slept