{"id":993,"date":"2026-07-23T13:42:46","date_gmt":"2026-07-23T13:42:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dev95.site\/?p=993"},"modified":"2026-07-23T13:42:53","modified_gmt":"2026-07-23T13:42:53","slug":"a-late-awakening-in-the-presence-of-family-my-struggle-with-duty-and-my-search-for-solace-in-the-cup","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dev95.site\/ar\/a-late-awakening-in-the-presence-of-family-my-struggle-with-duty-and-my-search-for-solace-in-the-cup\/","title":{"rendered":"A Late Awakening in the Presence of Family: My Struggle with Duty and My Search for Solace in the Cup"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"dev95-3769882348\" class=\"dev95-- dev95-entity-placement\"><script async=\"async\" data-cfasync=\"false\" src=\"https:\/\/pl27862732.effectivecpmnetwork.com\/2ad7a50e0bbc23ac6801d7b77c501463\/invoke.js\"><\/script>\r\n<div id=\"container-2ad7a50e0bbc23ac6801d7b77c501463\"><\/div><\/div>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">By the Author \/ Source: <a href=\"https:\/\/abuaram.site\">abuaram.site<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In my life, most of my problems were purely personal. During my adolescence and young, unmarried years, I had no family obligations\u2014no wife or children. I lived through a long phase marked by turmoil and a lack of the awareness necessary to safeguard my psychological and emotional well-being. In moments of low awareness, I committed actions that made me feel terrible about myself.<\/p><div id=\"dev95-370251183\" class=\"dev95- dev95-entity-placement\"><center>\r\n<script>\r\n  atOptions = {\r\n    'key' : '4ba6b6513c00e0ba76511f798ae56401',\r\n    'format' : 'iframe',\r\n    'height' : 50,\r\n    'width' : 320,\r\n    'params' : {}\r\n  };\r\n<\/script>\r\n<script src=\"https:\/\/www.highperformanceformat.com\/4ba6b6513c00e0ba76511f798ae56401\/invoke.js\"><\/script>\r\n\r\n\t<\/center><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">After marriage, everything changed. I have been married for about ten years now and have three children\u2014a major added responsibility in my life. My marital life has been full of ups and downs, filled with instability; frequent hesitation followed by repeated reconciliations. Until recently, some of these problems faded, though my wife and I were never fully compatible, and we faced numerous challenges. Even so, friction still surfaces between us; it seems inevitable that we clash from time to time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When my children were young, taking care of them was not a heavy burden; they were simply innocent, obedient kids. But now that they have grown older and developed distinct personalities, I feel the weight of fatherhood much more acutely. Raising and guiding them now requires double the effort. At times, they provoke my anger and frustration by refusing to obey me, yet paternal feelings, love, and affection always prevail, helping me manage the situation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Because of their presence, I no longer enjoy an intimate life with my wife comfortably or whenever I desire, and I am forced to filter my words and conversation in front of them. Waiting for intimacy has become tied to them falling asleep, going out to play, or us slipping away into the bathroom. Ten years into my marriage, my sexual desire has diminished under these circumstances. I do not suffer from any sexual dysfunction at all, but the drive is simply not as strong as it used to be. In contrast, I used to have an intense, insatiable libido, and we were very active in the early years of our marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I was unable to make fundamental changes within myself despite the major developments in my life after marriage and starting a family. My life shifted slightly, but fundamentally, I remained the same. I couldn&#8217;t break my addiction to alcohol; in fact, my reliance on it grew as a coping mechanism against stress and a way to find solace. My psychological struggles also persisted. I faced many setbacks during my marriage, frequently stopping my prescribed medications.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The silver lining is that I have become far more conscious and mature than I was in my early youth and teenage years. I now feel a very high level of awareness, alongside a deep expertise in dealing with, understanding, and experiencing life. It feels like a gradual awakening from the effects of a long-term anesthesia as I age\u2014or perhaps this is the true essence of living, both in mind and emotion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">My marriage was traditional; I didn&#8217;t meet my wife until the beginning of our engagement, which lasted a full year. Initially, our relationship was clouded by complexity, but as our compatibility evolved, the issues we face today have become less severe compared to those early years. Nevertheless, we still inevitably get into arguments from time to time, but we always return to each other\u2014we simply cannot part.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Amid the relentless, compounding pressures of life, drinking alcohol feels like the greatest blessing I have, and I cannot stop it. I wonder what this life would look like without it; it would be utterly dull, and its daily routine without the pleasure of intoxication would be unbearable. It grants me happiness and enjoyment, keeps boredom at bay, and makes me feel as though I\u2019ve given my soul and mind their rightful weekly dose of pleasure\u2014they truly deserve it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The only downside to consuming alcohol is its tendency to push me toward behaving inappropriately, acting in ways that are harmful to myself and others. For this reason, I constantly try to direct and discipline my mind to stay mindful of any wrong behavior while overindulging. As long as I enjoy drinking while staying safe and avoiding bad behavior, everything remains good and wonderful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I cannot imagine my life without alcohol; without it, I couldn&#8217;t achieve lasting psychological and emotional stability. I would surely collapse and implode. I want a comfortable life; I crave pleasure, delirium, numbness, relaxation, and a bit of madness. How else could this life be lived without it? To me, it is better than psychiatric medications.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Though I view it as better than psychiatric drugs, it is not a complete replacement for them, and I cannot dispense with my medication entirely. Medications certainly play a positive role in my psychological and mental stability, granting me calmness and clarity of thought while masking many symptoms of my illness. In fact, psychiatric meds even make alcohol consumption safer; my state of mind while under the influence of alcohol is far better when I am taking my medication than when I consume it without it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ultimately, life is defined by challenges, pressures, responsibilities, and the boredom of routine, alongside the complexities of uncertain and incompatible matters. There is no such thing as an entirely easy life or absolute happiness. These challenges include navigating marital and family issues, raising children, and coping with feelings of anger, resentment, loneliness, and detachment\u2014which can drive some to seek an outlet through going out and drinking alcohol.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We ought to simplify matters rather than overcomplicate them. Let us be strong, for life can be harsh at times. Do not despair; life also offers goodness, and pain and hardship never last\u2014just as comfort and happiness are not eternal. Such is the nature of life, so let us strive to enjoy it.<\/p>\n<div class=\"pvc_clear\"><\/div><p id=\"pvc_stats_993\" class=\"pvc_stats total_only\" data-element-id=\"993\" style=\"\"><i class=\"pvc-stats-icon medium\" aria-hidden=\"true\"><svg xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" version=\"1.0\" viewbox=\"0 0 502 315\" preserveaspectratio=\"xMidYMid meet\"><g transform=\"translate(0,332) scale(0.1,-0.1)\" fill=\"\" stroke=\"none\"><path d=\"M2394 3279 l-29 -30 -3 -207 c-2 -182 0 -211 15 -242 39 -76 157 -76 196 0 15 31 17 60 15 243 l-3 209 -33 29 c-26 23 -41 29 -80 29 -41 0 -53 -5 -78 -31z\"\/><path d=\"M3085 3251 c-45 -19 -58 -50 -96 -229 -47 -217 -49 -260 -13 -295 52 -53 146 -42 177 20 16 31 87 366 87 410 0 70 -86 122 -155 94z\"\/><path d=\"M1751 3234 c-13 -9 -29 -31 -37 -50 -12 -29 -10 -49 21 -204 19 -94 39 -189 45 -210 14 -50 54 -80 110 -80 34 0 48 6 76 34 21 21 34 44 34 59 0 14 -18 113 -40 219 -37 178 -43 195 -70 221 -36 32 -101 37 -139 11z\"\/><path d=\"M1163 3073 c-36 -7 -73 -59 -73 -102 0 -56 133 -378 171 -413 34 -32 83 -37 129 -13 70 36 67 87 -16 290 -86 209 -89 214 -129 231 -35 14 -42 15 -82 7z\"\/><path d=\"M3689 3066 c-15 -9 -33 -30 -42 -48 -48 -103 -147 -355 -147 -375 0 -98 131 -148 192 -74 13 15 57 108 97 206 80 196 84 226 37 273 -30 30 -99 39 -137 18z\"\/><path d=\"M583 2784 c-38 -19 -67 -74 -58 -113 9 -42 211 -354 242 -373 16 -10 45 -18 66 -18 51 0 107 52 107 100 0 39 -1 41 -124 234 -80 126 -108 162 -133 173 -41 17 -61 16 -100 -3z\"\/><path d=\"M4250 2784 c-14 -9 -74 -91 -133 -183 -95 -150 -107 -173 -107 -213 0 -55 33 -94 87 -104 67 -13 90 8 211 198 130 202 137 225 78 284 -27 27 -42 34 -72 34 -22 0 -50 -8 -64 -16z\"\/><path d=\"M2275 2693 c-553 -48 -1095 -270 -1585 -649 -135 -104 -459 -423 -483 -476 -23 -49 -22 -139 2 -186 73 -142 361 -457 571 -626 285 -228 642 -407 990 -497 242 -63 336 -73 660 -74 310 0 370 5 595 52 535 111 1045 392 1455 803 122 121 250 273 275 326 19 41 19 137 0 174 -41 79 -309 363 -465 492 -447 370 -946 591 -1479 653 -113 14 -422 18 -536 8z m395 -428 c171 -34 330 -124 456 -258 112 -119 167 -219 211 -378 27 -96 24 -300 -5 -401 -72 -255 -236 -447 -474 -557 -132 -62 -201 -76 -368 -76 -167 0 -236 14 -368 76 -213 98 -373 271 -451 485 -162 444 86 934 547 1084 153 49 292 57 452 25z m909 -232 c222 -123 408 -262 593 -441 76 -74 138 -139 138 -144 0 -16 -233 -242 -330 -319 -155 -123 -309 -223 -461 -299 l-81 -41 32 46 c18 26 49 83 70 128 143 306 141 649 -6 957 -25 52 -61 116 -79 142 l-34 47 45 -20 c26 -10 76 -36 113 -56z m-2057 25 c-40 -58 -105 -190 -130 -263 -110 -324 -59 -707 132 -981 25 -35 42 -64 37 -64 -19 0 -241 119 -326 174 -188 122 -406 314 -532 468 l-58 71 108 103 c185 178 428 349 672 473 66 33 121 60 123 61 2 0 -10 -19 -26 -42z\"\/><path d=\"M2375 1950 c-198 -44 -350 -190 -395 -379 -18 -76 -8 -221 19 -290 114 -284 457 -406 731 -260 98 52 188 154 231 260 27 69 37 214 19 290 -38 163 -166 304 -326 360 -67 23 -215 33 -279 19z\"\/><\/g><\/svg><\/i> <img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"16\" height=\"16\" alt=\"Loading\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/dev95.site\/wp-content\/plugins\/page-views-count\/ajax-loader-2x.gif?resize=16%2C16&#038;ssl=1\" border=\"0\" \/><\/p><div class=\"pvc_clear\"><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>By the Author \/ Source: abuaram.site In my life, most of my problems were purely personal. During my adolescence and young, unmarried years, I had no family obligations\u2014no wife or children. I&#8230;<\/p>\n<div class=\"pvc_clear\"><\/div>\n<p id=\"pvc_stats_993\" class=\"pvc_stats total_only\" data-element-id=\"993\" style=\"\"><i class=\"pvc-stats-icon medium\" aria-hidden=\"true\"><svg xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" version=\"1.0\" viewbox=\"0 0 502 315\" preserveaspectratio=\"xMidYMid meet\"><g transform=\"translate(0,332) scale(0.1,-0.1)\" fill=\"\" stroke=\"none\"><path d=\"M2394 3279 l-29 -30 -3 -207 c-2 -182 0 -211 15 -242 39 -76 157 -76 196 0 15 31 17 60 15 243 l-3 209 -33 29 c-26 23 -41 29 -80 29 -41 0 -53 -5 -78 -31z\"\/><path d=\"M3085 3251 c-45 -19 -58 -50 -96 -229 -47 -217 -49 -260 -13 -295 52 -53 146 -42 177 20 16 31 87 366 87 410 0 70 -86 122 -155 94z\"\/><path d=\"M1751 3234 c-13 -9 -29 -31 -37 -50 -12 -29 -10 -49 21 -204 19 -94 39 -189 45 -210 14 -50 54 -80 110 -80 34 0 48 6 76 34 21 21 34 44 34 59 0 14 -18 113 -40 219 -37 178 -43 195 -70 221 -36 32 -101 37 -139 11z\"\/><path d=\"M1163 3073 c-36 -7 -73 -59 -73 -102 0 -56 133 -378 171 -413 34 -32 83 -37 129 -13 70 36 67 87 -16 290 -86 209 -89 214 -129 231 -35 14 -42 15 -82 7z\"\/><path d=\"M3689 3066 c-15 -9 -33 -30 -42 -48 -48 -103 -147 -355 -147 -375 0 -98 131 -148 192 -74 13 15 57 108 97 206 80 196 84 226 37 273 -30 30 -99 39 -137 18z\"\/><path d=\"M583 2784 c-38 -19 -67 -74 -58 -113 9 -42 211 -354 242 -373 16 -10 45 -18 66 -18 51 0 107 52 107 100 0 39 -1 41 -124 234 -80 126 -108 162 -133 173 -41 17 -61 16 -100 -3z\"\/><path d=\"M4250 2784 c-14 -9 -74 -91 -133 -183 -95 -150 -107 -173 -107 -213 0 -55 33 -94 87 -104 67 -13 90 8 211 198 130 202 137 225 78 284 -27 27 -42 34 -72 34 -22 0 -50 -8 -64 -16z\"\/><path d=\"M2275 2693 c-553 -48 -1095 -270 -1585 -649 -135 -104 -459 -423 -483 -476 -23 -49 -22 -139 2 -186 73 -142 361 -457 571 -626 285 -228 642 -407 990 -497 242 -63 336 -73 660 -74 310 0 370 5 595 52 535 111 1045 392 1455 803 122 121 250 273 275 326 19 41 19 137 0 174 -41 79 -309 363 -465 492 -447 370 -946 591 -1479 653 -113 14 -422 18 -536 8z m395 -428 c171 -34 330 -124 456 -258 112 -119 167 -219 211 -378 27 -96 24 -300 -5 -401 -72 -255 -236 -447 -474 -557 -132 -62 -201 -76 -368 -76 -167 0 -236 14 -368 76 -213 98 -373 271 -451 485 -162 444 86 934 547 1084 153 49 292 57 452 25z m909 -232 c222 -123 408 -262 593 -441 76 -74 138 -139 138 -144 0 -16 -233 -242 -330 -319 -155 -123 -309 -223 -461 -299 l-81 -41 32 46 c18 26 49 83 70 128 143 306 141 649 -6 957 -25 52 -61 116 -79 142 l-34 47 45 -20 c26 -10 76 -36 113 -56z m-2057 25 c-40 -58 -105 -190 -130 -263 -110 -324 -59 -707 132 -981 25 -35 42 -64 37 -64 -19 0 -241 119 -326 174 -188 122 -406 314 -532 468 l-58 71 108 103 c185 178 428 349 672 473 66 33 121 60 123 61 2 0 -10 -19 -26 -42z\"\/><path d=\"M2375 1950 c-198 -44 -350 -190 -395 -379 -18 -76 -8 -221 19 -290 114 -284 457 -406 731 -260 98 52 188 154 231 260 27 69 37 214 19 290 -38 163 -166 304 -326 360 -67 23 -215 33 -279 19z\"\/><\/g><\/svg><\/i> <img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"16\" height=\"16\" alt=\"Loading\" src=\"https:\/\/dev95.site\/wp-content\/plugins\/page-views-count\/ajax-loader-2x.gif\" border=\"0\" \/><\/p>\n<div class=\"pvc_clear\"><\/div>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"fp_fajr_begins":"","fp_fajr_iqamah":"","fp_dhuhr_begins":"","fp_dhuhr_iqamah":"","fp_asr_begins":"","fp_asr_iqamah":"","fp_maghrib_begins":"","fp_maghrib_iqamah":"","fp_isha_begins":"","fp_isha_iqamah":"","fp_midnight":"","fp_midnight_name":"","fp_sunrise":"","fp_single_prayer_begins_title":"","fp_single_prayer_iqamah_title":"","fp_prayer_times_for_today":"","fp_hijra_date":"","fp_fajr_name":"","fp_dhuhr_name":"","fp_asr_name":"","fp_maghrib_name":"","fp_isha_name":"","fp_sunrise_name":"","fp_currentDate":"","fp_current_time":"","fp_current_title":"","fp_current_location":"","fp_masjid_name":"","fp_prayer_title":"","fp_next_prayer_iqamah_time":"","fp_next_prayer_iqamah_title":"","fp_next_prayer_begins_time":"","fp_next_prayer_begins_title":"","fp_next_prayer_title":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[37],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-993","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-posts"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":12,"today_views":0},"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>A Late Awakening in the Presence of Family: My Struggle with Duty and My Search for Solace in the Cup - Dev95<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"In my life, most of my problems were purely personal. During my adolescence and young, unmarried years, I had no family obligations\u2014no wife or children. I lived through a long phase marked by turmoil and a lack of the awareness necessary to safeguard my psychological and emotional well-being. In moments of low awareness, I committed actions that made me feel terrible about myself.After marriage, everything changed. I have been married for about ten years now and have three children\u2014a major added responsibility in my life. My marital life has been full of ups and downs, filled with instability; frequent hesitation followed by repeated reconciliations. Until recently, some of these problems faded, though my wife and I were never fully compatible, and we faced numerous challenges. Even so, friction still surfaces between us; it seems inevitable that we clash from time to time.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/dev95.site\/ar\/a-late-awakening-in-the-presence-of-family-my-struggle-with-duty-and-my-search-for-solace-in-the-cup\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"ar_AR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"A Late Awakening in the Presence of Family: My Struggle with Duty and My Search for Solace in the Cup - Dev95\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"In my life, most of my problems were purely personal. During my adolescence and young, unmarried years, I had no family obligations\u2014no wife or children. I lived through a long phase marked by turmoil and a lack of the awareness necessary to safeguard my psychological and emotional well-being. In moments of low awareness, I committed actions that made me feel terrible about myself.After marriage, everything changed. I have been married for about ten years now and have three children\u2014a major added responsibility in my life. My marital life has been full of ups and downs, filled with instability; frequent hesitation followed by repeated reconciliations. Until recently, some of these problems faded, though my wife and I were never fully compatible, and we faced numerous challenges. 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