{"id":1202,"date":"2026-09-16T12:41:26","date_gmt":"2026-09-16T12:41:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dev95.site\/?p=1202"},"modified":"2026-09-16T12:41:34","modified_gmt":"2026-09-16T12:41:34","slug":"the-mask-and-alcohol-my-temporary-haven-from-the-minds-hell","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dev95.site\/ar\/the-mask-and-alcohol-my-temporary-haven-from-the-minds-hell\/","title":{"rendered":"The Mask and Alcohol: My Temporary Haven from the Mind&#8217;s Hell"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"dev95-705816329\" class=\"dev95-- dev95-entity-placement\"><script async=\"async\" data-cfasync=\"false\" src=\"https:\/\/pl27862732.profitableratecpmnetwork.com\/2ad7a50e0bbc23ac6801d7b77c501463\/invoke.js\"><\/script>\r\n<div id=\"container-2ad7a50e0bbc23ac6801d7b77c501463\"><\/div><\/div>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">By the Author \/ Source: <a href=\"https:\/\/abuaram.site\/\">abuaram.site<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">For six months now, I have been wearing a surgical mask whenever I go out to buy alcohol. I feel immense anxiety when people stare at me, which causes my face to twitch involuntarily. I smile, I am on the verge of tears, I constantly bite my lips, and a horrific fear takes hold of me. Yet, the moment I reach my destination and drink heavily, the cloud of this misery lifts off my shoulders. When I return home, I take off the mask, as though alcohol has granted me healing. It really does feel like an effective cure that fully relieves my condition, even if it is only temporary.<\/p><div id=\"dev95-2597762818\" class=\"dev95- dev95-entity-placement\"><center>\r\n<script>\r\n  atOptions = {\r\n    'key' : '4ba6b6513c00e0ba76511f798ae56401',\r\n    'format' : 'iframe',\r\n    'height' : 50,\r\n    'width' : 320,\r\n    'params' : {}\r\n  };\r\n<\/script>\r\n<script src=\"https:\/\/www.highrevenueformat.com\/4ba6b6513c00e0ba76511f798ae56401\/invoke.js\"><\/script>\r\n\t<\/center><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Strangely enough, the illness hasn&#8217;t left me alone; it has metastasized into other parts of my body. I find it difficult to walk, and I feel as though it has concentrated in my eyes and the tone of my voice. I have to cough just to pronounce words clearly, like a broken radio or a stalled engine. I need to cough psychologically to reorder my inner self\u2014as if this illness were a living entity: you manage to suppress it in one part, only for it to flare up in another.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">No treatment has helped me get rid of this illness. For years, I underwent various therapies with specialists and psychiatrists, yet none of them succeeded in finding the right cure for me. I take antipsychotics, antidepressants, and mood stabilizers, all without any noticeable improvement. I believe I need a tailored dose of schizophrenia medication suited to my state, but these fools fail to provide appropriate therapeutic solutions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Regardless, I am sick of seeking treatment, and I have no desire to start anything new. I just coexist with the condition, barely tolerating these damned medications. I drink weekly, staying cooped up at home and going out just once to buy alcohol. My entire life is dominated by this illness; I have no existence outside of its identity and demands. I work in tech and computer-related jobs\u2014mostly because it is the only kind of work I can actually manage. I cannot function in the real world with its social demands.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I don\u2019t care anymore; all of these things have come to feel completely trivial, and there is nothing left for me to do. The illness has entrenched itself in my mind\u2014it forms a massive part of who I am and has inhabited me for far too long. Curing it is difficult; I gave it numerous attempts, but failed. I am exhausted from trying, and I no longer care to try. I simply live my life around it and try to enjoy my time as best I can.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Going back to the surgical mask: I often feel the urge to wear full face masks, along with dark sunglasses. However, a surgical mask is the only socially acceptable, non-conspicuous option in this backward, primitive society. If I were in Europe or Israel, I would wear whatever I wanted without a second thought. But this society is profoundly regressive and intellectually decayed; people obsess over the most trivial details of clothing, privacy is non-existent, and everyone monitors each other. Even so, the surgical mask still draws glances\u2014in these crowded streets, I hardly see anyone else wearing one right now, knowing my reasons are purely psychological. Still, I don&#8217;t care about their opinions; I wear it simply because it makes stepping outside far more bearable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">How can it be, in a world boasting such immense human advancement and modern psychiatry, that these incompetent Palestinian doctors\u2014who have detained me dozens of times\u2014remain completely incapable of treating me? Are they not utterly foolish and wrong? They have committed me repeatedly, locking me away in their hospitals time after time, yet they failed to offer me any real cure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">At any rate, this is the point I have reached in my life\u2019s journey. I have ceased to care. I simply live within the bounds of my limited energy and according to the immediate demands of my psychological state\u2014nothing more.<\/p>\n<div class=\"pvc_clear\"><\/div><p id=\"pvc_stats_1202\" class=\"pvc_stats total_only\" data-element-id=\"1202\" style=\"\"><i class=\"pvc-stats-icon medium\" aria-hidden=\"true\"><svg xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" version=\"1.0\" viewbox=\"0 0 502 315\" preserveaspectratio=\"xMidYMid meet\"><g transform=\"translate(0,332) scale(0.1,-0.1)\" fill=\"\" stroke=\"none\"><path d=\"M2394 3279 l-29 -30 -3 -207 c-2 -182 0 -211 15 -242 39 -76 157 -76 196 0 15 31 17 60 15 243 l-3 209 -33 29 c-26 23 -41 29 -80 29 -41 0 -53 -5 -78 -31z\"\/><path d=\"M3085 3251 c-45 -19 -58 -50 -96 -229 -47 -217 -49 -260 -13 -295 52 -53 146 -42 177 20 16 31 87 366 87 410 0 70 -86 122 -155 94z\"\/><path d=\"M1751 3234 c-13 -9 -29 -31 -37 -50 -12 -29 -10 -49 21 -204 19 -94 39 -189 45 -210 14 -50 54 -80 110 -80 34 0 48 6 76 34 21 21 34 44 34 59 0 14 -18 113 -40 219 -37 178 -43 195 -70 221 -36 32 -101 37 -139 11z\"\/><path d=\"M1163 3073 c-36 -7 -73 -59 -73 -102 0 -56 133 -378 171 -413 34 -32 83 -37 129 -13 70 36 67 87 -16 290 -86 209 -89 214 -129 231 -35 14 -42 15 -82 7z\"\/><path d=\"M3689 3066 c-15 -9 -33 -30 -42 -48 -48 -103 -147 -355 -147 -375 0 -98 131 -148 192 -74 13 15 57 108 97 206 80 196 84 226 37 273 -30 30 -99 39 -137 18z\"\/><path d=\"M583 2784 c-38 -19 -67 -74 -58 -113 9 -42 211 -354 242 -373 16 -10 45 -18 66 -18 51 0 107 52 107 100 0 39 -1 41 -124 234 -80 126 -108 162 -133 173 -41 17 -61 16 -100 -3z\"\/><path d=\"M4250 2784 c-14 -9 -74 -91 -133 -183 -95 -150 -107 -173 -107 -213 0 -55 33 -94 87 -104 67 -13 90 8 211 198 130 202 137 225 78 284 -27 27 -42 34 -72 34 -22 0 -50 -8 -64 -16z\"\/><path d=\"M2275 2693 c-553 -48 -1095 -270 -1585 -649 -135 -104 -459 -423 -483 -476 -23 -49 -22 -139 2 -186 73 -142 361 -457 571 -626 285 -228 642 -407 990 -497 242 -63 336 -73 660 -74 310 0 370 5 595 52 535 111 1045 392 1455 803 122 121 250 273 275 326 19 41 19 137 0 174 -41 79 -309 363 -465 492 -447 370 -946 591 -1479 653 -113 14 -422 18 -536 8z m395 -428 c171 -34 330 -124 456 -258 112 -119 167 -219 211 -378 27 -96 24 -300 -5 -401 -72 -255 -236 -447 -474 -557 -132 -62 -201 -76 -368 -76 -167 0 -236 14 -368 76 -213 98 -373 271 -451 485 -162 444 86 934 547 1084 153 49 292 57 452 25z m909 -232 c222 -123 408 -262 593 -441 76 -74 138 -139 138 -144 0 -16 -233 -242 -330 -319 -155 -123 -309 -223 -461 -299 l-81 -41 32 46 c18 26 49 83 70 128 143 306 141 649 -6 957 -25 52 -61 116 -79 142 l-34 47 45 -20 c26 -10 76 -36 113 -56z m-2057 25 c-40 -58 -105 -190 -130 -263 -110 -324 -59 -707 132 -981 25 -35 42 -64 37 -64 -19 0 -241 119 -326 174 -188 122 -406 314 -532 468 l-58 71 108 103 c185 178 428 349 672 473 66 33 121 60 123 61 2 0 -10 -19 -26 -42z\"\/><path d=\"M2375 1950 c-198 -44 -350 -190 -395 -379 -18 -76 -8 -221 19 -290 114 -284 457 -406 731 -260 98 52 188 154 231 260 27 69 37 214 19 290 -38 163 -166 304 -326 360 -67 23 -215 33 -279 19z\"\/><\/g><\/svg><\/i> <img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"16\" height=\"16\" alt=\"Loading\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/dev95.site\/wp-content\/plugins\/page-views-count\/ajax-loader-2x.gif?resize=16%2C16&#038;ssl=1\" border=\"0\" \/><\/p><div class=\"pvc_clear\"><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>By the Author \/ Source: abuaram.site For six months now, I have been wearing a surgical mask whenever I go out to buy alcohol. I feel immense anxiety when people stare at&#8230;<\/p>\n<div class=\"pvc_clear\"><\/div>\n<p id=\"pvc_stats_1202\" class=\"pvc_stats total_only\" data-element-id=\"1202\" style=\"\"><i class=\"pvc-stats-icon medium\" aria-hidden=\"true\"><svg xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" version=\"1.0\" viewbox=\"0 0 502 315\" preserveaspectratio=\"xMidYMid meet\"><g transform=\"translate(0,332) scale(0.1,-0.1)\" fill=\"\" stroke=\"none\"><path d=\"M2394 3279 l-29 -30 -3 -207 c-2 -182 0 -211 15 -242 39 -76 157 -76 196 0 15 31 17 60 15 243 l-3 209 -33 29 c-26 23 -41 29 -80 29 -41 0 -53 -5 -78 -31z\"\/><path d=\"M3085 3251 c-45 -19 -58 -50 -96 -229 -47 -217 -49 -260 -13 -295 52 -53 146 -42 177 20 16 31 87 366 87 410 0 70 -86 122 -155 94z\"\/><path d=\"M1751 3234 c-13 -9 -29 -31 -37 -50 -12 -29 -10 -49 21 -204 19 -94 39 -189 45 -210 14 -50 54 -80 110 -80 34 0 48 6 76 34 21 21 34 44 34 59 0 14 -18 113 -40 219 -37 178 -43 195 -70 221 -36 32 -101 37 -139 11z\"\/><path d=\"M1163 3073 c-36 -7 -73 -59 -73 -102 0 -56 133 -378 171 -413 34 -32 83 -37 129 -13 70 36 67 87 -16 290 -86 209 -89 214 -129 231 -35 14 -42 15 -82 7z\"\/><path d=\"M3689 3066 c-15 -9 -33 -30 -42 -48 -48 -103 -147 -355 -147 -375 0 -98 131 -148 192 -74 13 15 57 108 97 206 80 196 84 226 37 273 -30 30 -99 39 -137 18z\"\/><path d=\"M583 2784 c-38 -19 -67 -74 -58 -113 9 -42 211 -354 242 -373 16 -10 45 -18 66 -18 51 0 107 52 107 100 0 39 -1 41 -124 234 -80 126 -108 162 -133 173 -41 17 -61 16 -100 -3z\"\/><path d=\"M4250 2784 c-14 -9 -74 -91 -133 -183 -95 -150 -107 -173 -107 -213 0 -55 33 -94 87 -104 67 -13 90 8 211 198 130 202 137 225 78 284 -27 27 -42 34 -72 34 -22 0 -50 -8 -64 -16z\"\/><path d=\"M2275 2693 c-553 -48 -1095 -270 -1585 -649 -135 -104 -459 -423 -483 -476 -23 -49 -22 -139 2 -186 73 -142 361 -457 571 -626 285 -228 642 -407 990 -497 242 -63 336 -73 660 -74 310 0 370 5 595 52 535 111 1045 392 1455 803 122 121 250 273 275 326 19 41 19 137 0 174 -41 79 -309 363 -465 492 -447 370 -946 591 -1479 653 -113 14 -422 18 -536 8z m395 -428 c171 -34 330 -124 456 -258 112 -119 167 -219 211 -378 27 -96 24 -300 -5 -401 -72 -255 -236 -447 -474 -557 -132 -62 -201 -76 -368 -76 -167 0 -236 14 -368 76 -213 98 -373 271 -451 485 -162 444 86 934 547 1084 153 49 292 57 452 25z m909 -232 c222 -123 408 -262 593 -441 76 -74 138 -139 138 -144 0 -16 -233 -242 -330 -319 -155 -123 -309 -223 -461 -299 l-81 -41 32 46 c18 26 49 83 70 128 143 306 141 649 -6 957 -25 52 -61 116 -79 142 l-34 47 45 -20 c26 -10 76 -36 113 -56z m-2057 25 c-40 -58 -105 -190 -130 -263 -110 -324 -59 -707 132 -981 25 -35 42 -64 37 -64 -19 0 -241 119 -326 174 -188 122 -406 314 -532 468 l-58 71 108 103 c185 178 428 349 672 473 66 33 121 60 123 61 2 0 -10 -19 -26 -42z\"\/><path d=\"M2375 1950 c-198 -44 -350 -190 -395 -379 -18 -76 -8 -221 19 -290 114 -284 457 -406 731 -260 98 52 188 154 231 260 27 69 37 214 19 290 -38 163 -166 304 -326 360 -67 23 -215 33 -279 19z\"\/><\/g><\/svg><\/i> <img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"16\" height=\"16\" alt=\"Loading\" src=\"https:\/\/dev95.site\/wp-content\/plugins\/page-views-count\/ajax-loader-2x.gif\" border=\"0\" \/><\/p>\n<div class=\"pvc_clear\"><\/div>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"fp_fajr_begins":"","fp_fajr_iqamah":"","fp_dhuhr_begins":"","fp_dhuhr_iqamah":"","fp_asr_begins":"","fp_asr_iqamah":"","fp_maghrib_begins":"","fp_maghrib_iqamah":"","fp_isha_begins":"","fp_isha_iqamah":"","fp_midnight":"","fp_midnight_name":"","fp_sunrise":"","fp_single_prayer_begins_title":"","fp_single_prayer_iqamah_title":"","fp_prayer_times_for_today":"","fp_hijra_date":"","fp_fajr_name":"","fp_dhuhr_name":"","fp_asr_name":"","fp_maghrib_name":"","fp_isha_name":"","fp_sunrise_name":"","fp_currentDate":"","fp_current_time":"","fp_current_title":"","fp_current_location":"","fp_masjid_name":"","fp_prayer_title":"","fp_next_prayer_iqamah_time":"","fp_next_prayer_iqamah_title":"","fp_next_prayer_begins_time":"","fp_next_prayer_begins_title":"","fp_next_prayer_title":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[37],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1202","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-posts"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":1,"today_views":1},"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>The Mask and Alcohol: My Temporary Haven from the Mind&#039;s Hell - Dev95<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"For six months now, I have been wearing a surgical mask whenever I go out to buy alcohol. I feel immense anxiety when people stare at me, which causes my face to twitch involuntarily. I smile, I am on the verge of tears, I constantly bite my lips, and a horrific fear takes hold of me. Yet, the moment I reach my destination and drink heavily, the cloud of this misery lifts off my shoulders. When I return home, I take off the mask, as though alcohol has granted me healing. It really does feel like an effective cure that fully relieves my condition, even if it is only temporary.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/dev95.site\/ar\/the-mask-and-alcohol-my-temporary-haven-from-the-minds-hell\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"ar_AR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Mask and Alcohol: My Temporary Haven from the Mind&#039;s Hell - Dev95\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"For six months now, I have been wearing a surgical mask whenever I go out to buy alcohol. I feel immense anxiety when people stare at me, which causes my face to twitch involuntarily. I smile, I am on the verge of tears, I constantly bite my lips, and a horrific fear takes hold of me. 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I feel immense anxiety when people stare at me, which causes my face to twitch involuntarily. I smile, I am on the verge of tears, I constantly bite my lips, and a horrific fear takes hold of me. Yet, the moment I reach my destination and drink heavily, the cloud of this misery lifts off my shoulders. When I return home, I take off the mask, as though alcohol has granted me healing. It really does feel like an effective cure that fully relieves my condition, even if it is only temporary.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/dev95.site\/ar\/the-mask-and-alcohol-my-temporary-haven-from-the-minds-hell\/","og_locale":"ar_AR","og_type":"article","og_title":"The Mask and Alcohol: My Temporary Haven from the Mind's Hell - Dev95","og_description":"For six months now, I have been wearing a surgical mask whenever I go out to buy alcohol. 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