{"id":1151,"date":"2026-08-28T10:26:05","date_gmt":"2026-08-28T10:26:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dev95.site\/?p=1151"},"modified":"2026-08-28T10:26:16","modified_gmt":"2026-08-28T10:26:16","slug":"hospital-memories-when-walls-pull-us-back-to-pain-spirits-in-the-head-a-star-on-the-horizon-and-something-in-the-sky","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dev95.site\/ar\/hospital-memories-when-walls-pull-us-back-to-pain-spirits-in-the-head-a-star-on-the-horizon-and-something-in-the-sky\/","title":{"rendered":"Hospital Memories: When Walls Pull Us Back to Pain&#8230; Spirits in the Head, a Star on the Horizon, and Something in the Sky!"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"dev95-4191843797\" class=\"dev95-- dev95-entity-placement\"><script async=\"async\" data-cfasync=\"false\" src=\"https:\/\/pl27862732.effectivecpmnetwork.com\/2ad7a50e0bbc23ac6801d7b77c501463\/invoke.js\"><\/script>\r\n<div id=\"container-2ad7a50e0bbc23ac6801d7b77c501463\"><\/div><\/div>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">By the Author \/ Source: <a href=\"https:\/\/abuaram.site\/\">abuaram.site<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Recently, ever since I stopped taking my medication, I\u2019ve noticed that my emotions have been strongly drawn back toward the psychiatric hospital. It is as if my subconscious is replaying memories of that terrifying place the moment I quit the drugs. My schizophrenia gradually intensified, and my feelings and memories became tethered to that institution. Every time I am admitted, I experience terrible pain just knowing I am going there, suffering throughout the entire stay. The negativity and distress attached to it only compound. Stopping the medication also triggers psychological\u2014even delusional\u2014effects that may not stem directly from the illness itself, but rather from accumulated emotions. I hear spirits in my head telling me to take the medication; they revolt and grow active because I stopped, as if a spell has been cast over my soul and mind, tormenting me for taking this step. It feels as though someone bound me with a spell tied to the medication, preventing me from ever freeing myself from it.<\/p><div id=\"dev95-1056292301\" class=\"dev95- dev95-entity-placement\"><center>\r\n<script>\r\n  atOptions = {\r\n    'key' : '4ba6b6513c00e0ba76511f798ae56401',\r\n    'format' : 'iframe',\r\n    'height' : 50,\r\n    'width' : 320,\r\n    'params' : {}\r\n  };\r\n<\/script>\r\n<script src=\"https:\/\/www.highperformanceformat.com\/4ba6b6513c00e0ba76511f798ae56401\/invoke.js\"><\/script>\r\n\r\n\t<\/center><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When these spirits read my writings, I told them that I am not truly sick\u2014that my illness is caused by these dangerous psychiatric drugs. They replied, &#8220;You have always been sick!&#8221; It was as if they were accusing me of an innate condition, knowing with certainty that I had been ill my whole life. Meanwhile, something else shines a light on me, pointing toward me, growing larger in these moments. Every time this star flashes, I see an image\u2014an eye, like that of a beautiful weeping woman. I often feel it is the Virgin Mary herself. I might be imagining it, but most of the time, when this star shines, I feel it is her eye. Yet, at times, I perceive it differently.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This silent star orbits around me, pointing at me; it is profoundly quiet. Even in the moon, when I am not wearing my glasses, I see the image of Christ or the Virgin Mary forming in my blurred vision and the brightness of the moonlight. I do not believe in Mary or Christ, yet that is what I see. A real eye has even manifested in my physical life. On black screens and in dark spaces, I see the same thing: the eye of Christ, the eye atop the Masonic pyramid, or perhaps the Eye of Horus. Sometimes I think the voices in my head are separate from the bright starlight, and other times I feel they are one and the same\u2014that this light is their creation, manufactured to manipulate my mind. At times, I believe the light is real, physically present in the space around me, and that my inner vision has been opened to perceive it; they are everywhere. Perhaps this light is not a regular jinn, ghost, or spiritual entity. Perhaps it is the eye of God\u2014a deity\u2019s eye, omnipresent, speaking silently, watching. The moment I see the eye of the Great Pyramid in my life through this light, resembling the Eye of Horus, I feel bound to a secret, even demonic, organization.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The idea of smart aircraft reading my thoughts, communicating with my mind, monitoring my voice calls, chat messages, Facebook posts, and WhatsApp chats\u2014even viewing my laptop screen, reading what I write before I publish it online, and listening to my conversations at home while trailing me from the sky\u2014mirrors the concept of local Israeli Freemasonry. This system produces charlatans who hold pacts with the spiritual realm, possessing its secrets, communicating with it, and understanding its inner workings. Yet these human beings have no real control over what is happening; this is a spiritual force far greater than any of us, a force that may have made its own autonomous decision to enter my life, invade my mind, and merge directly with my soul.<\/p>\n<div class=\"pvc_clear\"><\/div><p id=\"pvc_stats_1151\" class=\"pvc_stats total_only\" data-element-id=\"1151\" style=\"\"><i class=\"pvc-stats-icon medium\" aria-hidden=\"true\"><svg xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" version=\"1.0\" viewbox=\"0 0 502 315\" preserveaspectratio=\"xMidYMid meet\"><g transform=\"translate(0,332) scale(0.1,-0.1)\" fill=\"\" stroke=\"none\"><path d=\"M2394 3279 l-29 -30 -3 -207 c-2 -182 0 -211 15 -242 39 -76 157 -76 196 0 15 31 17 60 15 243 l-3 209 -33 29 c-26 23 -41 29 -80 29 -41 0 -53 -5 -78 -31z\"\/><path d=\"M3085 3251 c-45 -19 -58 -50 -96 -229 -47 -217 -49 -260 -13 -295 52 -53 146 -42 177 20 16 31 87 366 87 410 0 70 -86 122 -155 94z\"\/><path d=\"M1751 3234 c-13 -9 -29 -31 -37 -50 -12 -29 -10 -49 21 -204 19 -94 39 -189 45 -210 14 -50 54 -80 110 -80 34 0 48 6 76 34 21 21 34 44 34 59 0 14 -18 113 -40 219 -37 178 -43 195 -70 221 -36 32 -101 37 -139 11z\"\/><path d=\"M1163 3073 c-36 -7 -73 -59 -73 -102 0 -56 133 -378 171 -413 34 -32 83 -37 129 -13 70 36 67 87 -16 290 -86 209 -89 214 -129 231 -35 14 -42 15 -82 7z\"\/><path d=\"M3689 3066 c-15 -9 -33 -30 -42 -48 -48 -103 -147 -355 -147 -375 0 -98 131 -148 192 -74 13 15 57 108 97 206 80 196 84 226 37 273 -30 30 -99 39 -137 18z\"\/><path d=\"M583 2784 c-38 -19 -67 -74 -58 -113 9 -42 211 -354 242 -373 16 -10 45 -18 66 -18 51 0 107 52 107 100 0 39 -1 41 -124 234 -80 126 -108 162 -133 173 -41 17 -61 16 -100 -3z\"\/><path d=\"M4250 2784 c-14 -9 -74 -91 -133 -183 -95 -150 -107 -173 -107 -213 0 -55 33 -94 87 -104 67 -13 90 8 211 198 130 202 137 225 78 284 -27 27 -42 34 -72 34 -22 0 -50 -8 -64 -16z\"\/><path d=\"M2275 2693 c-553 -48 -1095 -270 -1585 -649 -135 -104 -459 -423 -483 -476 -23 -49 -22 -139 2 -186 73 -142 361 -457 571 -626 285 -228 642 -407 990 -497 242 -63 336 -73 660 -74 310 0 370 5 595 52 535 111 1045 392 1455 803 122 121 250 273 275 326 19 41 19 137 0 174 -41 79 -309 363 -465 492 -447 370 -946 591 -1479 653 -113 14 -422 18 -536 8z m395 -428 c171 -34 330 -124 456 -258 112 -119 167 -219 211 -378 27 -96 24 -300 -5 -401 -72 -255 -236 -447 -474 -557 -132 -62 -201 -76 -368 -76 -167 0 -236 14 -368 76 -213 98 -373 271 -451 485 -162 444 86 934 547 1084 153 49 292 57 452 25z m909 -232 c222 -123 408 -262 593 -441 76 -74 138 -139 138 -144 0 -16 -233 -242 -330 -319 -155 -123 -309 -223 -461 -299 l-81 -41 32 46 c18 26 49 83 70 128 143 306 141 649 -6 957 -25 52 -61 116 -79 142 l-34 47 45 -20 c26 -10 76 -36 113 -56z m-2057 25 c-40 -58 -105 -190 -130 -263 -110 -324 -59 -707 132 -981 25 -35 42 -64 37 -64 -19 0 -241 119 -326 174 -188 122 -406 314 -532 468 l-58 71 108 103 c185 178 428 349 672 473 66 33 121 60 123 61 2 0 -10 -19 -26 -42z\"\/><path d=\"M2375 1950 c-198 -44 -350 -190 -395 -379 -18 -76 -8 -221 19 -290 114 -284 457 -406 731 -260 98 52 188 154 231 260 27 69 37 214 19 290 -38 163 -166 304 -326 360 -67 23 -215 33 -279 19z\"\/><\/g><\/svg><\/i> <img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"16\" height=\"16\" alt=\"Loading\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/dev95.site\/wp-content\/plugins\/page-views-count\/ajax-loader-2x.gif?resize=16%2C16&#038;ssl=1\" border=\"0\" \/><\/p><div class=\"pvc_clear\"><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>By the Author \/ Source: abuaram.site Recently, ever since I stopped taking my medication, I\u2019ve noticed that my emotions have been strongly drawn back toward the psychiatric hospital. It is as if&#8230;<\/p>\n<div class=\"pvc_clear\"><\/div>\n<p id=\"pvc_stats_1151\" class=\"pvc_stats total_only\" data-element-id=\"1151\" style=\"\"><i class=\"pvc-stats-icon medium\" aria-hidden=\"true\"><svg xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" version=\"1.0\" viewbox=\"0 0 502 315\" preserveaspectratio=\"xMidYMid meet\"><g transform=\"translate(0,332) scale(0.1,-0.1)\" fill=\"\" stroke=\"none\"><path d=\"M2394 3279 l-29 -30 -3 -207 c-2 -182 0 -211 15 -242 39 -76 157 -76 196 0 15 31 17 60 15 243 l-3 209 -33 29 c-26 23 -41 29 -80 29 -41 0 -53 -5 -78 -31z\"\/><path d=\"M3085 3251 c-45 -19 -58 -50 -96 -229 -47 -217 -49 -260 -13 -295 52 -53 146 -42 177 20 16 31 87 366 87 410 0 70 -86 122 -155 94z\"\/><path d=\"M1751 3234 c-13 -9 -29 -31 -37 -50 -12 -29 -10 -49 21 -204 19 -94 39 -189 45 -210 14 -50 54 -80 110 -80 34 0 48 6 76 34 21 21 34 44 34 59 0 14 -18 113 -40 219 -37 178 -43 195 -70 221 -36 32 -101 37 -139 11z\"\/><path d=\"M1163 3073 c-36 -7 -73 -59 -73 -102 0 -56 133 -378 171 -413 34 -32 83 -37 129 -13 70 36 67 87 -16 290 -86 209 -89 214 -129 231 -35 14 -42 15 -82 7z\"\/><path d=\"M3689 3066 c-15 -9 -33 -30 -42 -48 -48 -103 -147 -355 -147 -375 0 -98 131 -148 192 -74 13 15 57 108 97 206 80 196 84 226 37 273 -30 30 -99 39 -137 18z\"\/><path d=\"M583 2784 c-38 -19 -67 -74 -58 -113 9 -42 211 -354 242 -373 16 -10 45 -18 66 -18 51 0 107 52 107 100 0 39 -1 41 -124 234 -80 126 -108 162 -133 173 -41 17 -61 16 -100 -3z\"\/><path d=\"M4250 2784 c-14 -9 -74 -91 -133 -183 -95 -150 -107 -173 -107 -213 0 -55 33 -94 87 -104 67 -13 90 8 211 198 130 202 137 225 78 284 -27 27 -42 34 -72 34 -22 0 -50 -8 -64 -16z\"\/><path d=\"M2275 2693 c-553 -48 -1095 -270 -1585 -649 -135 -104 -459 -423 -483 -476 -23 -49 -22 -139 2 -186 73 -142 361 -457 571 -626 285 -228 642 -407 990 -497 242 -63 336 -73 660 -74 310 0 370 5 595 52 535 111 1045 392 1455 803 122 121 250 273 275 326 19 41 19 137 0 174 -41 79 -309 363 -465 492 -447 370 -946 591 -1479 653 -113 14 -422 18 -536 8z m395 -428 c171 -34 330 -124 456 -258 112 -119 167 -219 211 -378 27 -96 24 -300 -5 -401 -72 -255 -236 -447 -474 -557 -132 -62 -201 -76 -368 -76 -167 0 -236 14 -368 76 -213 98 -373 271 -451 485 -162 444 86 934 547 1084 153 49 292 57 452 25z m909 -232 c222 -123 408 -262 593 -441 76 -74 138 -139 138 -144 0 -16 -233 -242 -330 -319 -155 -123 -309 -223 -461 -299 l-81 -41 32 46 c18 26 49 83 70 128 143 306 141 649 -6 957 -25 52 -61 116 -79 142 l-34 47 45 -20 c26 -10 76 -36 113 -56z m-2057 25 c-40 -58 -105 -190 -130 -263 -110 -324 -59 -707 132 -981 25 -35 42 -64 37 -64 -19 0 -241 119 -326 174 -188 122 -406 314 -532 468 l-58 71 108 103 c185 178 428 349 672 473 66 33 121 60 123 61 2 0 -10 -19 -26 -42z\"\/><path d=\"M2375 1950 c-198 -44 -350 -190 -395 -379 -18 -76 -8 -221 19 -290 114 -284 457 -406 731 -260 98 52 188 154 231 260 27 69 37 214 19 290 -38 163 -166 304 -326 360 -67 23 -215 33 -279 19z\"\/><\/g><\/svg><\/i> <img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"16\" height=\"16\" alt=\"Loading\" src=\"https:\/\/dev95.site\/wp-content\/plugins\/page-views-count\/ajax-loader-2x.gif\" border=\"0\" \/><\/p>\n<div class=\"pvc_clear\"><\/div>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"fp_fajr_begins":"","fp_fajr_iqamah":"","fp_dhuhr_begins":"","fp_dhuhr_iqamah":"","fp_asr_begins":"","fp_asr_iqamah":"","fp_maghrib_begins":"","fp_maghrib_iqamah":"","fp_isha_begins":"","fp_isha_iqamah":"","fp_midnight":"","fp_midnight_name":"","fp_sunrise":"","fp_single_prayer_begins_title":"","fp_single_prayer_iqamah_title":"","fp_prayer_times_for_today":"","fp_hijra_date":"","fp_fajr_name":"","fp_dhuhr_name":"","fp_asr_name":"","fp_maghrib_name":"","fp_isha_name":"","fp_sunrise_name":"","fp_currentDate":"","fp_current_time":"","fp_current_title":"","fp_current_location":"","fp_masjid_name":"","fp_prayer_title":"","fp_next_prayer_iqamah_time":"","fp_next_prayer_iqamah_title":"","fp_next_prayer_begins_time":"","fp_next_prayer_begins_title":"","fp_next_prayer_title":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[37],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1151","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-posts"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":2,"today_views":2},"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Hospital Memories: When Walls Pull Us Back to Pain... Spirits in the Head, a Star on the Horizon, and Something in the Sky! - Dev95<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Recently, ever since I stopped taking my medication, I\u2019ve noticed that my emotions have been strongly drawn back toward the psychiatric hospital. It is as if my subconscious is replaying memories of that terrifying place the moment I quit the drugs. My schizophrenia gradually intensified, and my feelings and memories became tethered to that institution. Every time I am admitted, I experience terrible pain just knowing I am going there, suffering throughout the entire stay. The negativity and distress attached to it only compound. Stopping the medication also triggers psychological\u2014even delusional\u2014effects that may not stem directly from the illness itself, but rather from accumulated emotions. I hear spirits in my head telling me to take the medication; they revolt and grow active because I stopped, as if a spell has been cast over my soul and mind, tormenting me for taking this step. It feels as though someone bound me with a spell tied to the medication, preventing me from ever freeing myself from it.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/dev95.site\/ar\/hospital-memories-when-walls-pull-us-back-to-pain-spirits-in-the-head-a-star-on-the-horizon-and-something-in-the-sky\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"ar_AR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Hospital Memories: When Walls Pull Us Back to Pain... 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