{"id":1013,"date":"2026-07-24T14:13:35","date_gmt":"2026-07-24T14:13:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dev95.site\/?p=1013"},"modified":"2026-07-24T14:13:43","modified_gmt":"2026-07-24T14:13:43","slug":"in-the-hell-of-schizophrenia-am-i-merely-a-patient-or-the-key-to-a-great-secret","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dev95.site\/ar\/in-the-hell-of-schizophrenia-am-i-merely-a-patient-or-the-key-to-a-great-secret\/","title":{"rendered":"In the Hell of Schizophrenia\u2026 Am I Merely a Patient, or the Key to a Great Secret?"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"dev95-1087112187\" class=\"dev95-- dev95-entity-placement\"><script async=\"async\" data-cfasync=\"false\" src=\"https:\/\/pl27862732.effectivecpmnetwork.com\/2ad7a50e0bbc23ac6801d7b77c501463\/invoke.js\"><\/script>\r\n<div id=\"container-2ad7a50e0bbc23ac6801d7b77c501463\"><\/div><\/div>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">By the Author \/ Source: <a href=\"https:\/\/abuaram.site\/\">abuaram.site<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I have experienced the absolute worst symptoms of schizophrenia in my life\u2014the most dangerous, and the most severe. The reality of this condition can hardly be captured in a simulation video of a schizophrenia patient, nor in the story of a famous personality living with it. No one precisely knows what takes place within the hidden depths of schizophrenia except someone who has truly lived through it and possesses the ability to articulate it.<\/p><div id=\"dev95-2149542651\" class=\"dev95- dev95-entity-placement\"><center>\r\n<script>\r\n  atOptions = {\r\n    'key' : '4ba6b6513c00e0ba76511f798ae56401',\r\n    'format' : 'iframe',\r\n    'height' : 50,\r\n    'width' : 320,\r\n    'params' : {}\r\n  };\r\n<\/script>\r\n<script src=\"https:\/\/www.highperformanceformat.com\/4ba6b6513c00e0ba76511f798ae56401\/invoke.js\"><\/script>\r\n\r\n\t<\/center><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I still do not believe that everything in schizophrenia occurs strictly within the mind; I believe there are spiritual underlying causes. To feel as though I am in an interrogation room, with multiple people constantly speaking to me with uncanny realism; to acquire a realm of spirits originating from human beings or unseen entities; and to have human spirits speak to me with malice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">To drown there, at the very bottom of schizophrenia, amidst deeply sick thoughts, in another world entirely. To begin reading the thoughts of people around me, feeling the mental activity of all human beings with a superhuman intensity. To start feeling sensations inside my brain\u2014pinpricks of pain at specific points in my head whenever I live through a agonizing experience or thought that my mind attempts to block from me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">To witness the behavior of animals around me alter in ways I had never known prior to my illness: dogs assembling themselves into large packs right beside my house, initiating a horrifying collective barking; birds coming to my window as if to greet me; a dove producing sounds that instill deep comfort and positivity within my soul; and the crowing of the rooster at dawn morphing into the sounds of the call to prayer and Islamic words.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">To have all these auditory effects play out beforehand inside my mind before they physically transpire in real time. To feel the notifications for my phone messages and voice calls\u2014as well as those of the people around me\u2014in advance. To dream of a few Facebook notifications, only to wake up in the morning and find them actually there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">To listen to the conversations of distant people as they command me and laugh, with the echoes of their private dialogues about me reverberating inside my head. It felt as though spiritual sessions were being conducted by groups right outside my window, directed at me in a demonic gathering. In moments of pure madness, I used to believe that these people, speaking in multiple languages, were addressing me specifically\u2014until I merged entirely with that delusion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Worse than these terrifying, maddening symptoms was losing my mind and my natural way of thinking\u2014to sink into illness alongside what was happening, to lose the ability to judge when to ask for help, and, being in such a severe state of madness, to stubbornly persist in refusing to take my psychiatric medications.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It is a deeply exhausting experience, accompanied by severe headaches and an inability to sleep for days on end. I still find it difficult to comprehend that all these harrowing experiences are occurring within my mind alone, and that they stem from an internal dysfunction rather than reality. Every time a relapse occurs due to chronic schizophrenia, I go through new psychotic episodes. I have likely passed through such states nearly six times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Those airplanes in the sky move according to my mental and psychological state. In many instances, that auditory simulation system in the sky is somehow linked to me; in fact, it is programmed to connect with my mind and with everything taking place in my life. That interactive program for the planes\u2014if they are indeed human aircraft to begin with\u2014was configured by the Israeli state to hook me into it as a core component.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Whether they are airplanes, spacecraft, or something akin to the movement of angels, demons, or deities in the sky, they have been telling me they are not planes ever since we came to know each other during my adolescence. Not a single human being speaks to me about them, and no one has ever revealed their true nature to me. I am not an agent, nor do I actively participate in any intelligence activities or secret groups. I simply communicate with these planes and with a vast array of spirits\u2014done entirely in secret, right within my mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Looking closely at the matter of the planes, I do not believe for a second that I am mistaken on this point, nor do I think there is any confusion or delusion in my mind regarding my feelings toward them. Originally, I saw this plane project in my imagination as a child between the ages of 6 and 8\u2014roughly between 1999 and 2002\u2014perhaps before humans had ever created anything like these planes, when the internet was in its infancy, and smart phones likely didn&#8217;t even exist yet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I saw in my dreams that I was an important person: I met with officers from the Israel Defense Forces while I was sick in the hospital, and they had come to visit me. I was always contemplating the sky, and I had many similar dreams throughout my childhood.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Allow me to also admit that I was a very sick child. I suffered from abnormal, pathological shyness, severe fears, and a constant sense of detachment from the world. When I look back on my childhood memories, examining my actions, my conversations, and that strange feeling that used to overcome me\u2014a feeling akin to bewilderment or hyper-awareness of everything, along with the distinct nature of my thoughts and psyche\u2014I realize that I was a sick child, and no one knew it but me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">There is a mystery enveloping my life; this seems glaringly obvious to me. What happens is not a matter of mere coincidence\u2014whether it concerns the synchronicities, the spiritual and painful experiences I have endured, the relentless challenges, my expanding consciousness, or my experience of embodying illogical thoughts and personas from another world. The nature of my upbringing, my thoughts, my mental movement, and my continuous state of awareness, maturity, and constant transformation make me feel that I am no ordinary human being. Although I appear ordinary on the outside, it seems a higher power is pursuing me and shaping the trajectory of my life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Furthermore, the nature of being a persecuted child who was constantly bullied by others through abnormal, recurring reactions, along with the pain I faced throughout all stages of my childhood, places me directly in the crosshairs of a predetermined, higher destiny. It is as if a spell was written for me before I even entered this life, causing my existence to unfold with this profound harmony of strangeness, illness, pain, and awareness of such elevated mysteries.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I would also like to point to the deep-seated fear that has controlled me for a very long time, seeping deep into my subconscious. This fear was the impetus for my rebellion against it and my escape from its suppression in intense moments of turmoil and madness\u2014driven by a desire to triumph over it at the very peak of my suffering. Despite all of this, there seems to be something remarkably strange about my life and this world. I am not merely an incidental case or a natural phenomenon; there must be a great secret and profound wisdom behind it all.<\/p>\n<div class=\"pvc_clear\"><\/div><p id=\"pvc_stats_1013\" class=\"pvc_stats total_only\" data-element-id=\"1013\" style=\"\"><i class=\"pvc-stats-icon medium\" aria-hidden=\"true\"><svg xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" version=\"1.0\" viewbox=\"0 0 502 315\" preserveaspectratio=\"xMidYMid meet\"><g transform=\"translate(0,332) scale(0.1,-0.1)\" fill=\"\" stroke=\"none\"><path d=\"M2394 3279 l-29 -30 -3 -207 c-2 -182 0 -211 15 -242 39 -76 157 -76 196 0 15 31 17 60 15 243 l-3 209 -33 29 c-26 23 -41 29 -80 29 -41 0 -53 -5 -78 -31z\"\/><path d=\"M3085 3251 c-45 -19 -58 -50 -96 -229 -47 -217 -49 -260 -13 -295 52 -53 146 -42 177 20 16 31 87 366 87 410 0 70 -86 122 -155 94z\"\/><path d=\"M1751 3234 c-13 -9 -29 -31 -37 -50 -12 -29 -10 -49 21 -204 19 -94 39 -189 45 -210 14 -50 54 -80 110 -80 34 0 48 6 76 34 21 21 34 44 34 59 0 14 -18 113 -40 219 -37 178 -43 195 -70 221 -36 32 -101 37 -139 11z\"\/><path d=\"M1163 3073 c-36 -7 -73 -59 -73 -102 0 -56 133 -378 171 -413 34 -32 83 -37 129 -13 70 36 67 87 -16 290 -86 209 -89 214 -129 231 -35 14 -42 15 -82 7z\"\/><path d=\"M3689 3066 c-15 -9 -33 -30 -42 -48 -48 -103 -147 -355 -147 -375 0 -98 131 -148 192 -74 13 15 57 108 97 206 80 196 84 226 37 273 -30 30 -99 39 -137 18z\"\/><path d=\"M583 2784 c-38 -19 -67 -74 -58 -113 9 -42 211 -354 242 -373 16 -10 45 -18 66 -18 51 0 107 52 107 100 0 39 -1 41 -124 234 -80 126 -108 162 -133 173 -41 17 -61 16 -100 -3z\"\/><path d=\"M4250 2784 c-14 -9 -74 -91 -133 -183 -95 -150 -107 -173 -107 -213 0 -55 33 -94 87 -104 67 -13 90 8 211 198 130 202 137 225 78 284 -27 27 -42 34 -72 34 -22 0 -50 -8 -64 -16z\"\/><path d=\"M2275 2693 c-553 -48 -1095 -270 -1585 -649 -135 -104 -459 -423 -483 -476 -23 -49 -22 -139 2 -186 73 -142 361 -457 571 -626 285 -228 642 -407 990 -497 242 -63 336 -73 660 -74 310 0 370 5 595 52 535 111 1045 392 1455 803 122 121 250 273 275 326 19 41 19 137 0 174 -41 79 -309 363 -465 492 -447 370 -946 591 -1479 653 -113 14 -422 18 -536 8z m395 -428 c171 -34 330 -124 456 -258 112 -119 167 -219 211 -378 27 -96 24 -300 -5 -401 -72 -255 -236 -447 -474 -557 -132 -62 -201 -76 -368 -76 -167 0 -236 14 -368 76 -213 98 -373 271 -451 485 -162 444 86 934 547 1084 153 49 292 57 452 25z m909 -232 c222 -123 408 -262 593 -441 76 -74 138 -139 138 -144 0 -16 -233 -242 -330 -319 -155 -123 -309 -223 -461 -299 l-81 -41 32 46 c18 26 49 83 70 128 143 306 141 649 -6 957 -25 52 -61 116 -79 142 l-34 47 45 -20 c26 -10 76 -36 113 -56z m-2057 25 c-40 -58 -105 -190 -130 -263 -110 -324 -59 -707 132 -981 25 -35 42 -64 37 -64 -19 0 -241 119 -326 174 -188 122 -406 314 -532 468 l-58 71 108 103 c185 178 428 349 672 473 66 33 121 60 123 61 2 0 -10 -19 -26 -42z\"\/><path d=\"M2375 1950 c-198 -44 -350 -190 -395 -379 -18 -76 -8 -221 19 -290 114 -284 457 -406 731 -260 98 52 188 154 231 260 27 69 37 214 19 290 -38 163 -166 304 -326 360 -67 23 -215 33 -279 19z\"\/><\/g><\/svg><\/i> <img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"16\" height=\"16\" alt=\"Loading\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/dev95.site\/wp-content\/plugins\/page-views-count\/ajax-loader-2x.gif?resize=16%2C16&#038;ssl=1\" border=\"0\" \/><\/p><div class=\"pvc_clear\"><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>By the Author \/ Source: abuaram.site I have experienced the absolute worst symptoms of schizophrenia in my life\u2014the most dangerous, and the most severe. The reality of this condition can hardly be&#8230;<\/p>\n<div class=\"pvc_clear\"><\/div>\n<p id=\"pvc_stats_1013\" class=\"pvc_stats total_only\" data-element-id=\"1013\" style=\"\"><i class=\"pvc-stats-icon medium\" aria-hidden=\"true\"><svg xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" version=\"1.0\" viewbox=\"0 0 502 315\" preserveaspectratio=\"xMidYMid meet\"><g transform=\"translate(0,332) scale(0.1,-0.1)\" fill=\"\" stroke=\"none\"><path d=\"M2394 3279 l-29 -30 -3 -207 c-2 -182 0 -211 15 -242 39 -76 157 -76 196 0 15 31 17 60 15 243 l-3 209 -33 29 c-26 23 -41 29 -80 29 -41 0 -53 -5 -78 -31z\"\/><path d=\"M3085 3251 c-45 -19 -58 -50 -96 -229 -47 -217 -49 -260 -13 -295 52 -53 146 -42 177 20 16 31 87 366 87 410 0 70 -86 122 -155 94z\"\/><path d=\"M1751 3234 c-13 -9 -29 -31 -37 -50 -12 -29 -10 -49 21 -204 19 -94 39 -189 45 -210 14 -50 54 -80 110 -80 34 0 48 6 76 34 21 21 34 44 34 59 0 14 -18 113 -40 219 -37 178 -43 195 -70 221 -36 32 -101 37 -139 11z\"\/><path d=\"M1163 3073 c-36 -7 -73 -59 -73 -102 0 -56 133 -378 171 -413 34 -32 83 -37 129 -13 70 36 67 87 -16 290 -86 209 -89 214 -129 231 -35 14 -42 15 -82 7z\"\/><path d=\"M3689 3066 c-15 -9 -33 -30 -42 -48 -48 -103 -147 -355 -147 -375 0 -98 131 -148 192 -74 13 15 57 108 97 206 80 196 84 226 37 273 -30 30 -99 39 -137 18z\"\/><path d=\"M583 2784 c-38 -19 -67 -74 -58 -113 9 -42 211 -354 242 -373 16 -10 45 -18 66 -18 51 0 107 52 107 100 0 39 -1 41 -124 234 -80 126 -108 162 -133 173 -41 17 -61 16 -100 -3z\"\/><path d=\"M4250 2784 c-14 -9 -74 -91 -133 -183 -95 -150 -107 -173 -107 -213 0 -55 33 -94 87 -104 67 -13 90 8 211 198 130 202 137 225 78 284 -27 27 -42 34 -72 34 -22 0 -50 -8 -64 -16z\"\/><path d=\"M2275 2693 c-553 -48 -1095 -270 -1585 -649 -135 -104 -459 -423 -483 -476 -23 -49 -22 -139 2 -186 73 -142 361 -457 571 -626 285 -228 642 -407 990 -497 242 -63 336 -73 660 -74 310 0 370 5 595 52 535 111 1045 392 1455 803 122 121 250 273 275 326 19 41 19 137 0 174 -41 79 -309 363 -465 492 -447 370 -946 591 -1479 653 -113 14 -422 18 -536 8z m395 -428 c171 -34 330 -124 456 -258 112 -119 167 -219 211 -378 27 -96 24 -300 -5 -401 -72 -255 -236 -447 -474 -557 -132 -62 -201 -76 -368 -76 -167 0 -236 14 -368 76 -213 98 -373 271 -451 485 -162 444 86 934 547 1084 153 49 292 57 452 25z m909 -232 c222 -123 408 -262 593 -441 76 -74 138 -139 138 -144 0 -16 -233 -242 -330 -319 -155 -123 -309 -223 -461 -299 l-81 -41 32 46 c18 26 49 83 70 128 143 306 141 649 -6 957 -25 52 -61 116 -79 142 l-34 47 45 -20 c26 -10 76 -36 113 -56z m-2057 25 c-40 -58 -105 -190 -130 -263 -110 -324 -59 -707 132 -981 25 -35 42 -64 37 -64 -19 0 -241 119 -326 174 -188 122 -406 314 -532 468 l-58 71 108 103 c185 178 428 349 672 473 66 33 121 60 123 61 2 0 -10 -19 -26 -42z\"\/><path d=\"M2375 1950 c-198 -44 -350 -190 -395 -379 -18 -76 -8 -221 19 -290 114 -284 457 -406 731 -260 98 52 188 154 231 260 27 69 37 214 19 290 -38 163 -166 304 -326 360 -67 23 -215 33 -279 19z\"\/><\/g><\/svg><\/i> <img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"16\" height=\"16\" alt=\"Loading\" src=\"https:\/\/dev95.site\/wp-content\/plugins\/page-views-count\/ajax-loader-2x.gif\" border=\"0\" \/><\/p>\n<div class=\"pvc_clear\"><\/div>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"fp_fajr_begins":"","fp_fajr_iqamah":"","fp_dhuhr_begins":"","fp_dhuhr_iqamah":"","fp_asr_begins":"","fp_asr_iqamah":"","fp_maghrib_begins":"","fp_maghrib_iqamah":"","fp_isha_begins":"","fp_isha_iqamah":"","fp_midnight":"","fp_midnight_name":"","fp_sunrise":"","fp_single_prayer_begins_title":"","fp_single_prayer_iqamah_title":"","fp_prayer_times_for_today":"","fp_hijra_date":"","fp_fajr_name":"","fp_dhuhr_name":"","fp_asr_name":"","fp_maghrib_name":"","fp_isha_name":"","fp_sunrise_name":"","fp_currentDate":"","fp_current_time":"","fp_current_title":"","fp_current_location":"","fp_masjid_name":"","fp_prayer_title":"","fp_next_prayer_iqamah_time":"","fp_next_prayer_iqamah_title":"","fp_next_prayer_begins_time":"","fp_next_prayer_begins_title":"","fp_next_prayer_title":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[37],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1013","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-posts"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":15,"today_views":0},"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>In the Hell of Schizophrenia\u2026 Am I Merely a Patient, or the Key to a Great Secret? - Dev95<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I have experienced the absolute worst symptoms of schizophrenia in my life\u2014the most dangerous, and the most severe. The reality of this condition can hardly be captured in a simulation video of a schizophrenia patient, nor in the story of a famous personality living with it. 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The reality of this condition can hardly be captured in a simulation video of a schizophrenia patient, nor in the story of a famous personality living with it. 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