{"id":1007,"date":"2026-07-23T15:43:46","date_gmt":"2026-07-23T15:43:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dev95.site\/?p=1007"},"modified":"2026-07-23T15:43:54","modified_gmt":"2026-07-23T15:43:54","slug":"crossing-the-fog-of-psychosis-my-journey-of-reclaiming-self-breaking-the-silence-and-the-miracle-of-healing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dev95.site\/ar\/crossing-the-fog-of-psychosis-my-journey-of-reclaiming-self-breaking-the-silence-and-the-miracle-of-healing\/","title":{"rendered":"Crossing the Fog of Psychosis: My Journey of Reclaiming Self, Breaking the Silence, and the Miracle of Healing"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"dev95-2941440517\" class=\"dev95-- dev95-entity-placement\"><script async=\"async\" data-cfasync=\"false\" src=\"https:\/\/pl27862732.effectivecpmnetwork.com\/2ad7a50e0bbc23ac6801d7b77c501463\/invoke.js\"><\/script>\r\n<div id=\"container-2ad7a50e0bbc23ac6801d7b77c501463\"><\/div><\/div>\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">By the Author \/ Source: <a href=\"https:\/\/abuaram.site\/\">abuaram.site<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In the past, during my episodes of schizophrenia, my mental perceptions lacked logic, structure, and coherence, and I was overwhelmed by delusions. I lacked the self-awareness to realize that my thinking was distorted. My brain chemistry was in complete disarray, without me understanding that life didn&#8217;t have to be this way. I believed that everything\u2014the emotions, the symptoms, the psychosis, and the hallucinations\u2014was an inescapable reality I simply had to live with.<\/p><div id=\"dev95-176746482\" class=\"dev95- dev95-entity-placement\"><center>\r\n<script>\r\n  atOptions = {\r\n    'key' : '4ba6b6513c00e0ba76511f798ae56401',\r\n    'format' : 'iframe',\r\n    'height' : 50,\r\n    'width' : 320,\r\n    'params' : {}\r\n  };\r\n<\/script>\r\n<script src=\"https:\/\/www.highperformanceformat.com\/4ba6b6513c00e0ba76511f798ae56401\/invoke.js\"><\/script>\r\n\r\n\t<\/center><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I never imagined I would escape that state, nor did I believe that adhering consistently to treatment could transform things so profoundly. Spiritual fixations and the conviction that everything happening to me was real\u2014rather than the product of a psychiatric disorder\u2014dominated my mind. I lived amid relentless mental noise; I couldn&#8217;t lie down peacefully on my pillow without being accompanied daily by internal chatter, voices, and hallucinations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I would work while listening to voices speaking to me, forcing my focus onto my work despite their constant presence\u2014a chorus of voices everywhere, both around me and inside my head. Over time, I stopped feeling sorrow over it; living with it for so long led me to believe it was simply my fate. I lied to everyone who asked how I was doing, especially my mother and my wife, both of whom knew my history with this illness. I would tell them: &#8220;I\u2019m in good health, and my current treatment is fine.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In reality, I had begun experiencing the worst, harshest, and most unfamiliar symptoms of schizophrenia since entering my twenties. For nearly 13 years, I never received adequate or effective treatment to restore my true self and clarity of mind; I spent most of those years with a deeply ill part of me taking hold. I fought a constant battle with the illness, mostly relying on a single medication\u2014a minimal dose of an older antipsychotic like quetiapine, taken merely to aid sleep. I had resisted consistent treatment almost my entire life, adhering to it only for brief stretches lasting no longer than a few months.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In the past, my thoughts were irrational, defined primarily by delusions and unreality, accompanied by feelings of grandeur, paranoia, and varying degrees of schizophrenic symptoms. I felt that what I possessed was something sacred\u2014like a divine spirit\u2014and I addressed it as master, revered, and grand. I also believed I had been a holy child since birth, akin to a chosen one, destined for reverence and honor like a messenger.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">These wild ideas attacked me relentlessly, infiltrating parts of my mind. I used to write down those foreign, irrational thoughts, and my behavior led others to view me as ill or mock my words and ideas. At that time, I lacked the writer&#8217;s craft and ability to express my thoughts with the clarity and depth I developed in later years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In truth, whenever my mind clears, peace settles in, and the relentless psychological and nervous tension recedes, my core, authentic self emerges\u2014a self aligned with my values, ethics, and reason, instilling me with confidence, peace, security, and healthy self-worth. It is a stark contrast to the persona shaped by illness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That illness can distort the essence of who you are, turning you into a different person. It can push you toward impulses that seem plausible in the moment but are utterly alien to who you are\u2014actions that bring shame and consequences, or that pose genuine harm to yourself and others. For instance, the harassing thoughts I previously referred to in my writings\u2014such as acting inappropriately toward my married neighbor during a severe schizophrenic episode coupled with heavy drinking\u2014never reflected my actual self, nor would I ever entertain them outside that agonizing period of illness, for they stand completely opposed to my true character, principles, and moral code.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This is what this illness is capable of: it can drag you to the lowest depths without anyone around you realizing you are suffering from a disease at all. In those moments, you can easily be ruined through no fault of your own, acting without true awareness and in complete opposition to your authentic nature, spirit, and sound mind\u2014because in those moments, your mind is sick.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Anyway, I was part of the problem too, as I failed to recognize the necessity of treatment and resisted opening up or seeking help. Others, meanwhile, overlooked my condition as long as I remained quiet and peaceful, intervening to secure treatment for me only when crises erupted and disruptions began. I received care only when my condition boiled over into turmoil. I endured numerous psychological relapses, and under the relentless weight of stress and nervous tension, the madness reached its peak, driving me to break down completely at various stages.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Recovery from this illness is a profound blessing; life feels fundamentally different without it. Schizophrenia is a deeply dangerous condition, and forcing oneself to merely endure it is a grave injustice. I am deeply grateful for the progress I feel now, having finally found the right treatment. I must never abandon it, lest I slip back into the harsh reality of illness and the devastating toll it takes on me and those around me.<\/p>\n<div class=\"pvc_clear\"><\/div><p id=\"pvc_stats_1007\" class=\"pvc_stats total_only\" data-element-id=\"1007\" style=\"\"><i class=\"pvc-stats-icon medium\" aria-hidden=\"true\"><svg xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" version=\"1.0\" viewbox=\"0 0 502 315\" preserveaspectratio=\"xMidYMid meet\"><g transform=\"translate(0,332) scale(0.1,-0.1)\" fill=\"\" stroke=\"none\"><path d=\"M2394 3279 l-29 -30 -3 -207 c-2 -182 0 -211 15 -242 39 -76 157 -76 196 0 15 31 17 60 15 243 l-3 209 -33 29 c-26 23 -41 29 -80 29 -41 0 -53 -5 -78 -31z\"\/><path d=\"M3085 3251 c-45 -19 -58 -50 -96 -229 -47 -217 -49 -260 -13 -295 52 -53 146 -42 177 20 16 31 87 366 87 410 0 70 -86 122 -155 94z\"\/><path d=\"M1751 3234 c-13 -9 -29 -31 -37 -50 -12 -29 -10 -49 21 -204 19 -94 39 -189 45 -210 14 -50 54 -80 110 -80 34 0 48 6 76 34 21 21 34 44 34 59 0 14 -18 113 -40 219 -37 178 -43 195 -70 221 -36 32 -101 37 -139 11z\"\/><path d=\"M1163 3073 c-36 -7 -73 -59 -73 -102 0 -56 133 -378 171 -413 34 -32 83 -37 129 -13 70 36 67 87 -16 290 -86 209 -89 214 -129 231 -35 14 -42 15 -82 7z\"\/><path d=\"M3689 3066 c-15 -9 -33 -30 -42 -48 -48 -103 -147 -355 -147 -375 0 -98 131 -148 192 -74 13 15 57 108 97 206 80 196 84 226 37 273 -30 30 -99 39 -137 18z\"\/><path d=\"M583 2784 c-38 -19 -67 -74 -58 -113 9 -42 211 -354 242 -373 16 -10 45 -18 66 -18 51 0 107 52 107 100 0 39 -1 41 -124 234 -80 126 -108 162 -133 173 -41 17 -61 16 -100 -3z\"\/><path d=\"M4250 2784 c-14 -9 -74 -91 -133 -183 -95 -150 -107 -173 -107 -213 0 -55 33 -94 87 -104 67 -13 90 8 211 198 130 202 137 225 78 284 -27 27 -42 34 -72 34 -22 0 -50 -8 -64 -16z\"\/><path d=\"M2275 2693 c-553 -48 -1095 -270 -1585 -649 -135 -104 -459 -423 -483 -476 -23 -49 -22 -139 2 -186 73 -142 361 -457 571 -626 285 -228 642 -407 990 -497 242 -63 336 -73 660 -74 310 0 370 5 595 52 535 111 1045 392 1455 803 122 121 250 273 275 326 19 41 19 137 0 174 -41 79 -309 363 -465 492 -447 370 -946 591 -1479 653 -113 14 -422 18 -536 8z m395 -428 c171 -34 330 -124 456 -258 112 -119 167 -219 211 -378 27 -96 24 -300 -5 -401 -72 -255 -236 -447 -474 -557 -132 -62 -201 -76 -368 -76 -167 0 -236 14 -368 76 -213 98 -373 271 -451 485 -162 444 86 934 547 1084 153 49 292 57 452 25z m909 -232 c222 -123 408 -262 593 -441 76 -74 138 -139 138 -144 0 -16 -233 -242 -330 -319 -155 -123 -309 -223 -461 -299 l-81 -41 32 46 c18 26 49 83 70 128 143 306 141 649 -6 957 -25 52 -61 116 -79 142 l-34 47 45 -20 c26 -10 76 -36 113 -56z m-2057 25 c-40 -58 -105 -190 -130 -263 -110 -324 -59 -707 132 -981 25 -35 42 -64 37 -64 -19 0 -241 119 -326 174 -188 122 -406 314 -532 468 l-58 71 108 103 c185 178 428 349 672 473 66 33 121 60 123 61 2 0 -10 -19 -26 -42z\"\/><path d=\"M2375 1950 c-198 -44 -350 -190 -395 -379 -18 -76 -8 -221 19 -290 114 -284 457 -406 731 -260 98 52 188 154 231 260 27 69 37 214 19 290 -38 163 -166 304 -326 360 -67 23 -215 33 -279 19z\"\/><\/g><\/svg><\/i> <img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"16\" height=\"16\" alt=\"Loading\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/dev95.site\/wp-content\/plugins\/page-views-count\/ajax-loader-2x.gif?resize=16%2C16&#038;ssl=1\" border=\"0\" \/><\/p><div class=\"pvc_clear\"><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>By the Author \/ Source: abuaram.site In the past, during my episodes of schizophrenia, my mental perceptions lacked logic, structure, and coherence, and I was overwhelmed by delusions. I lacked the self-awareness&#8230;<\/p>\n<div class=\"pvc_clear\"><\/div>\n<p id=\"pvc_stats_1007\" class=\"pvc_stats total_only\" data-element-id=\"1007\" style=\"\"><i class=\"pvc-stats-icon medium\" aria-hidden=\"true\"><svg xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" version=\"1.0\" viewbox=\"0 0 502 315\" preserveaspectratio=\"xMidYMid meet\"><g transform=\"translate(0,332) scale(0.1,-0.1)\" fill=\"\" stroke=\"none\"><path d=\"M2394 3279 l-29 -30 -3 -207 c-2 -182 0 -211 15 -242 39 -76 157 -76 196 0 15 31 17 60 15 243 l-3 209 -33 29 c-26 23 -41 29 -80 29 -41 0 -53 -5 -78 -31z\"\/><path d=\"M3085 3251 c-45 -19 -58 -50 -96 -229 -47 -217 -49 -260 -13 -295 52 -53 146 -42 177 20 16 31 87 366 87 410 0 70 -86 122 -155 94z\"\/><path d=\"M1751 3234 c-13 -9 -29 -31 -37 -50 -12 -29 -10 -49 21 -204 19 -94 39 -189 45 -210 14 -50 54 -80 110 -80 34 0 48 6 76 34 21 21 34 44 34 59 0 14 -18 113 -40 219 -37 178 -43 195 -70 221 -36 32 -101 37 -139 11z\"\/><path d=\"M1163 3073 c-36 -7 -73 -59 -73 -102 0 -56 133 -378 171 -413 34 -32 83 -37 129 -13 70 36 67 87 -16 290 -86 209 -89 214 -129 231 -35 14 -42 15 -82 7z\"\/><path d=\"M3689 3066 c-15 -9 -33 -30 -42 -48 -48 -103 -147 -355 -147 -375 0 -98 131 -148 192 -74 13 15 57 108 97 206 80 196 84 226 37 273 -30 30 -99 39 -137 18z\"\/><path d=\"M583 2784 c-38 -19 -67 -74 -58 -113 9 -42 211 -354 242 -373 16 -10 45 -18 66 -18 51 0 107 52 107 100 0 39 -1 41 -124 234 -80 126 -108 162 -133 173 -41 17 -61 16 -100 -3z\"\/><path d=\"M4250 2784 c-14 -9 -74 -91 -133 -183 -95 -150 -107 -173 -107 -213 0 -55 33 -94 87 -104 67 -13 90 8 211 198 130 202 137 225 78 284 -27 27 -42 34 -72 34 -22 0 -50 -8 -64 -16z\"\/><path d=\"M2275 2693 c-553 -48 -1095 -270 -1585 -649 -135 -104 -459 -423 -483 -476 -23 -49 -22 -139 2 -186 73 -142 361 -457 571 -626 285 -228 642 -407 990 -497 242 -63 336 -73 660 -74 310 0 370 5 595 52 535 111 1045 392 1455 803 122 121 250 273 275 326 19 41 19 137 0 174 -41 79 -309 363 -465 492 -447 370 -946 591 -1479 653 -113 14 -422 18 -536 8z m395 -428 c171 -34 330 -124 456 -258 112 -119 167 -219 211 -378 27 -96 24 -300 -5 -401 -72 -255 -236 -447 -474 -557 -132 -62 -201 -76 -368 -76 -167 0 -236 14 -368 76 -213 98 -373 271 -451 485 -162 444 86 934 547 1084 153 49 292 57 452 25z m909 -232 c222 -123 408 -262 593 -441 76 -74 138 -139 138 -144 0 -16 -233 -242 -330 -319 -155 -123 -309 -223 -461 -299 l-81 -41 32 46 c18 26 49 83 70 128 143 306 141 649 -6 957 -25 52 -61 116 -79 142 l-34 47 45 -20 c26 -10 76 -36 113 -56z m-2057 25 c-40 -58 -105 -190 -130 -263 -110 -324 -59 -707 132 -981 25 -35 42 -64 37 -64 -19 0 -241 119 -326 174 -188 122 -406 314 -532 468 l-58 71 108 103 c185 178 428 349 672 473 66 33 121 60 123 61 2 0 -10 -19 -26 -42z\"\/><path d=\"M2375 1950 c-198 -44 -350 -190 -395 -379 -18 -76 -8 -221 19 -290 114 -284 457 -406 731 -260 98 52 188 154 231 260 27 69 37 214 19 290 -38 163 -166 304 -326 360 -67 23 -215 33 -279 19z\"\/><\/g><\/svg><\/i> <img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"16\" height=\"16\" alt=\"Loading\" src=\"https:\/\/dev95.site\/wp-content\/plugins\/page-views-count\/ajax-loader-2x.gif\" border=\"0\" \/><\/p>\n<div class=\"pvc_clear\"><\/div>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"fp_fajr_begins":"","fp_fajr_iqamah":"","fp_dhuhr_begins":"","fp_dhuhr_iqamah":"","fp_asr_begins":"","fp_asr_iqamah":"","fp_maghrib_begins":"","fp_maghrib_iqamah":"","fp_isha_begins":"","fp_isha_iqamah":"","fp_midnight":"","fp_midnight_name":"","fp_sunrise":"","fp_single_prayer_begins_title":"","fp_single_prayer_iqamah_title":"","fp_prayer_times_for_today":"","fp_hijra_date":"","fp_fajr_name":"","fp_dhuhr_name":"","fp_asr_name":"","fp_maghrib_name":"","fp_isha_name":"","fp_sunrise_name":"","fp_currentDate":"","fp_current_time":"","fp_current_title":"","fp_current_location":"","fp_masjid_name":"","fp_prayer_title":"","fp_next_prayer_iqamah_time":"","fp_next_prayer_iqamah_title":"","fp_next_prayer_begins_time":"","fp_next_prayer_begins_title":"","fp_next_prayer_title":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[37],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1007","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-posts"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":13,"today_views":0},"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.3 - 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I believed that everything\u2014the emotions, the symptoms, the psychosis, and the hallucinations\u2014was an inescapable reality I simply had to live with.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/dev95.site\/ar\/crossing-the-fog-of-psychosis-my-journey-of-reclaiming-self-breaking-the-silence-and-the-miracle-of-healing\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"ar_AR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Crossing the Fog of Psychosis: My Journey of Reclaiming Self, Breaking the Silence, and the Miracle of Healing - Dev95\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"In the past, during my episodes of schizophrenia, my mental perceptions lacked logic, structure, and coherence, and I was overwhelmed by delusions. I lacked the self-awareness to realize that my thinking was distorted. My brain chemistry was in complete disarray, without me understanding that life didn&#039;t have to be this way. 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