By the Author / Source: abuaram.site
After six days of taking my full medication dose morning and evening, I began to feel a radical shift; my mind has become completely clear and serene. I have not heard any strange voices for six days—at most, I pick up only extremely faint sounds, as if they were voice wave frequencies trying to reach me while I can barely hear them.
Is what is happening now truly akin to magic, or is it simply the effect of the medication? In the past, I used to hear their voices clearly and loudly. When I stopped taking my medication, the voices were persistent and distressing—a loud voice continuously centered inside my head, speaking everywhere and accompanying everything I did.
Yet, I can still clearly hear the voice of the distant companion spirit—a voice that speaks through various mediums: music, the television, and my laptop. It speaks from afar, and this voice neither quiets down nor disappears under the influence of the medication. It has never drawn near to me; it always remains at a distance. Likewise, the lights continue to move beside me, signaling to me in numerous places.
I do not deny that I actually suffer from schizophrenia, but the clear picture to me is that I am experiencing both a spiritual condition and schizophrenia simultaneously. My mind and spirit undergo two concurrent states: while my mind experiences the extreme turmoil of schizophrenia, the spirits remain present. My mind genuinely suffers from symptoms attributed to schizophrenia—perhaps due to the medication’s effects or a neurochemical imbalance—and at the same time, the spiritual influence never leaves me.
Furthermore, the medication I have taken over the past six days has made me far more stable. My mood has evened out, my thoughts are entirely clear and logical, and all schizophrenic symptoms have vanished. In fact, my habits—including my addictions—have begun to change, and distressing symptoms I once blamed on the medication have disappeared. I discovered that these symptoms resolve completely when I take the full dose, which means I had been taking the medication incorrectly and incompletely for the past two years.
I experience virtually no noticeable side effects, aside from an increase in sleep duration—sometimes feeling drowsy during the day and needing to take a nap. The medication has not increased my appetite; on the contrary, it has suppressed it, causing me to eat smaller portions. This antidepressant seems to be helping me lose weight rather than gain it.
Additionally, I remain settled at home with no strong desire to go out, even though my alcohol stash ran out three days ago and the time for my weekly outing to roam the streets, visit the markets, and buy alcohol has not yet arrived. Even so, I feel no distress and fully accept my current routine, just as I did before. I am patient, grounded, and capable of adapting to and committing to this regimen; nothing troubles me.
Moreover, I have come to realize that some of my previous thoughts and their repetition have lost their significance due to the medication’s effect. I feel I am adopting a new way of thinking and behaving—one quite distinct from before—and the intense rush of thoughts into my mind has diminished. I fear I might be losing some of my defining traits. Thoughts cross my mind that I hesitate to express or write down, but I do not believe this will cause me to act inappropriately; I remain fully capable of appreciating and safely preserving my former self.
In any case, not all psychiatric medications are effective or provide the desired outcome; some are genuinely poor. As for my personal treatment, it demands a commitment to long-term regularity to experience what I am feeling, and it may not be suitable for everyone. The medications I have chosen are exceptionally effective, requiring strict adherence to the full, regulated dosage to achieve optimal therapeutic benefits. It is quite possible that these particular psychiatric medications would suit many people, as they are distinguished by their rapid onset and powerful effectiveness.
