Family has changed their job, making their financial situation different, now they can’t afford travelling for Christmas with the rest of the family: ‘I communicated this clearly to my in-laws, however, this was not received well.

Sometimes family isn’t as understanding as you would expect them to be.

It is crazy to me that your family members sometimes seem like the only people who are always going to be by your side, or like they are obliged to love you forever. When in reality, they can be incredibly not understanding of your situation, mean, and malicious. That’s why I hate the whole stereotype of “family stays together”, because that isn’t true for everyone. It seems like they would act that way and try to preserve the family at all costs. But once you don’t do things as they want you to, you get flagged as non-family. They criticize you behind your back and punish you for not doing what they were expecting you to do. That’s, in my opinion, enough not to consider family something indispensable; if you do, they will end up turning their back on you one day out of nowhere. 

In the story below, we have a family of non-understanding, entitled people. You invite your family for Christmas; if they can make it, then you don’t get mad and blame them. You accept it because they must have a reason why. If they explicitly tell you their reason and it’s due to their current financial situation, then you act understandingly; you offer to help or just accept that they can’t make it. You don’t get mad; that is the worst way to act. I cannot believe that your in-laws, or in the case of the husband, your parents, would be upset at you for not traveling for the holidays if you aren’t getting even a paycheck right now. Their situation is almost critical, and they are too busy being offended over something so materialistic and unimportant. That isn’t the real spirit of Christmas; it makes me think you are an entitled person who uses blame and manipulation to get what you want, making your family feel so bad about not attending that they spend money they don’t have or request a loan to pay for it. It’s crazy that someone would act like that. Shame on the parents/in-laws. This is not a good family attitude at all.