By the Author / Source: abuaram.site
Every time I was admitted to the psychiatric hospital, the very first thought that crossed my mind upon waking up on day one was escape. That thought was deeply ingrained in my mind at all times; I was constantly observing, planning, and searching for flaws in my attempts to flee that cursed facility.
I never accepted being institutionalized there, a placement that was always forced upon me by either my family or the police. I possessed a sharp intellect when it meandered into escape tactics. I used to study the other patients carefully to choose the right companion to assist with the plan—for not every patient there was trustworthy when it came to breaking out. Some suffered from severe psychological trauma or lived in alternate realities, and they could easily ruin your escape plan.
The duration of a stay there isn’t worth the ordeal of an escape effort; it is a brief monthly period, not long years in prison. I trust my ability to break out of any place of confinement, whether a asylum or a prison, through careful planning and spotting vulnerabilities over time. Still, even if the stay was short and defined—even if it were just a single month—I felt compelled to think about escape.
The pleasure derived from constantly contemplating escape is indescribable; it is a feeling that blends excitement with a calming, soothing effect on the nerves. It acts like a drug that releases your joy hormones, helping you navigate the days there much more easily.
I succeeded in escaping that facility twice, despite having been admitted nearly ten times. On one occasion, I found a patient who was there every time I was admitted. He suffered from pathological dementia, but he was easily influenced—even exploitable. So, I tried to gauge his desire to escape and managed to convince him.
On that day, I escaped from the ward through the main door alongside that patient. This was achieved by meticulously monitoring the influx and outflow through the door, focusing on the medical staff, who were sometimes reduced to just a single person. That door opened electrically from inside the staff room and was occasionally used to bring in supplies.
We managed it in a moment of deception targeting a lone nurse who was present at the time. When the janitors entered, we seized the opportunity, rushed toward the open door, dashed down the stairs, and sprinted through a side garden to the hospital’s main grounds. We reached a side gate—distinct from the main gate where a guard was stationed—climbed over it, and bolted down the street, putting as much distance between us and the facility as possible.
I decided then to part ways with the other patient, as we were from different cities, and I somehow made my way back home. I never returned there, and I even managed to convince my family that I would never go back. Long years have passed, and I have never set foot there again. I was consumed by an overwhelming sense of joy for having successfully escaped and rid myself of that cursed asylum.
On the next attempt, I managed to escape alone in a similar manner, but this time it was from the high-security intake ward. I had succeeded in tampering with the staff room window overlooking the exit door without anyone noticing. On a subsequent day, I found the medical staff room empty—I had no idea where they went—and discovered that the window was unlocked. I leapt into their room, my heart surging with adrenaline. I pressed the electric door-release button right in front of me, the door swung open, and I rushed out into the facility’s expansive courtyard.
However, that day I knew for certain they would pursue and search for me until I reached the outer gate and made it to the street to flee. Therefore, my plan included hiding somewhere within the facility—perhaps in its large gardens under one of the trees—until time passed and they gave up searching for me. Sure enough, I spent nearly two hours tucked away under a tree.
I could hear their furious voices as they searched for me across the grounds. When their voices eventually faded, I began moving to explore the area and find my side path toward the gate. Once I ensured the coast was clear, I quietly scaled the rear gate of the facility and covered long distances into the city unnoticed. I returned home to my wife and did not go back to that facility for a very long time.
I believe the thought of escape crosses the mind of every human living in isolation. No prisoner, whether a patient or a criminal, goes without thinking of fleeing. Although a convict might be recaptured after breaking out and returned to prison, there remains a psychological and mental drive that forces everyone to ponder escape; people simply do not accept being deprived of life in this manner. They might not possess a foolproof plan to evade justice, but human innate desire for freedom compels them to seek it and try, no matter the cost.
This world is inherently unfair. Those who claim to govern with justice and righteousness for the greater good—describing themselves as its guardians—may not have entirely correct motives or actions. I believe the focus should be on rehabilitation and pardoning those who demonstrate a considered readiness to repent and a desire to return to a normal life. A person’s life should not be completely written off because of a single lapse or crime. The law of mercy and amnesty should exist for everyone.
Confinement is extraordinarily harsh on a human being. It is a terrible place that destroys the soul and mind, ravages the nervous system, and stands as an emotionally brutal and unmerciful experience where one is deprived of their life for extended periods. Perhaps such measures are necessary to control individuals and ensure public safety—making isolation and prison the ultimate terrifying deterrent to make anyone second-guess committing a mistake.
In any case, were I ever returned to the psychiatric hospital or thrown into prison, I would not hesitate for a second to attempt an escape again. I stand by every prisoner who flees, feel genuine happiness for them, and love seeing them break free from such harsh injustice. I will undoubtedly escape, relish those exhilarating and soothing psychological emotions, start planning the breakout, and I must succeed! Besides, I have no desire to ever step foot in any of those places again for the rest of my life.
