By the Author / Source: abuaram.site
My five-year-old son, Aram, asked me what God looks like. I told him I didn’t know. He said he would search Google, and Google Images showed him depictions of Jesus as God. How can this be?! Images of Jesus—a complete human being—presented by Google as God. My son Aram often asks me about God, and I usually ignore him or tell him I don’t know.
He is not even five years old yet, so I shouldn’t be discussing these matters with him. Yet, remarkably, while he learns to revere the entity of God in kindergarten, I, as an atheist, cannot tell him anything about God. He is learning about God through an Islamic approach before even reaching the first grade. I do not want him to internalize anything that conflicts with his innocence or the society he lives in.
For this reason, I certainly will not speak to my five-year-old child about God, especially since he comes to me every now and then to share a new Quranic verse he has memorized, or to tell me what he learned about the Prophet Muhammad, his parents, his grandfather, and other Islamic teachings he is absorbing.
As an atheist living in a Muslim society dominated by Islamic traditions, curricula, and schools, I find it challenging to direct my children’s upbringing. Nevertheless, I am fully aware that they are influenced by me in every way, and I know they will not fully adopt an Islamic identity, given the nature of my persona as I live alongside them.
What should I teach him in light of this reality? Should I teach him to reject the society to which I belong, and that what he studies in kindergarten and school is wrong? Of course not. I shouldn’t reveal my atheism to him in the first place; instead, I should let him live his life through my own experience in a Muslim society.
I know that at home, and in their lives in general, my children are not being raised in an environment centered around Islam. Rather, they are growing up in a different, free environment that I have built for them—one free from strictness or emphasis on adhering to a specific religion or religious-like rules.
They will not emerge with an Islamic persona that is alien to me or unreflective of who I am, despite what they study in schools. When they grow older, I will clearly share my views with them regarding life and religion in particular, and I know they will understand.
If I were in a different society with schools that do not teach religion, could I have told them I was an atheist from an early age? Can I teach my children about the rejection of religion and about atheism from childhood? Or what should I have taught them as an atheist father?
In truth, children shouldn’t be taught religion, nor should they even know about atheism. What should they learn, then? They should learn about natural phenomena in life, useful sciences, and how to navigate life regardless of fundamental, ultimate questions regarding God and religion. They should learn to engage with all other fields of knowledge that foster their growth, development, and ability to handle life. As for God, religion, and atheism, these matters can be left for them to discover when they grow older.
In an atheist society, would it seem appropriate to teach our children atheism from a young age?! Who actually knows the truth anyway?! What do we really know?! And what should we teach regarding these fundamental aspects of our existence?! I believe that within the reality of the society I am in, I should let them learn what I once learned in my own life. I know they won’t grow far apart from me, despite what they learn out there!
I do not want them to become Muslim entities similar to those I see in the world. But what was I? I was not raised in a religious or conservative family to begin with, yet I became the atheist I am today. So, they certainly won’t become something I dislike; after all, I am the foundation of their guidance and instruction. The outside world means nothing compared to what they learn from me.
My children are ultimately a part of me, and they are close to me. Amid all the complexities of the circumstances they live in, they will always return to their father, to the home in which they were raised. They will remain a major part of me and will never be far from who I am.
Will this sterile, false dogma be in their best interest? A dogma instilled in them from tender childhood, at an inappropriate age, built upon principles they can neither discern nor reject. They are indoctrinated with the tenets of belief without having a choice or the ability to decline. It is not good for young children to learn these things at all. It is far better for them to know that these matters are neither real nor serious in the first place.
